Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | 1009 USERS: C+
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Luxury Lounge

In the parking lot, Martina smokes a cigarette, paces, and talks to Benny on the phone about how worried she is about the police showing up. Benny calms her down, promising that big companies like that won't come after individuals. Benny hangs up and returns to dinner with his wife at Da Giovanni.

Artie looks out his back window while drinking his morning coffee, and spots a rabbit in his garden. He grabs a rifle and shoots the rabbit. Charmaine comes outside and yells at him for breaking the law about shooting a gun in the city. Artie complains that he brought the arugula seeds back from Italy in his shaving kit. He stalks inside with his dead rabbit.

Christopher pounds on the bathroom floor in his hotel room and begs Eden to come out. Apparently, she busted him going through her purse, probably looking for more coke. Christopher is looking rough, wearing a bathrobe and with his hair all puffy. He calls the front desk, as he takes a swig of champagne, he's connected with Kingsley, and asks whether Kingsley can get him into the Luxury Lounge. Kingsley says that his publicist set it up, and gently tries to say that it's not his publicist's job to get losers like Christopher free swag. Christopher nods, and hangs up. There's a knock on the door. Christopher yells that it's Security to knock the bathroom door down. He opens the door to find Murmur, who is shocked at how quickly Christopher tumbled down the well. Christopher says he knows he has to pull it together, and drops the champagne bottle.

At Vesuvio, Artie gives instructions to the cooks, and starts to leave. He stops the coat-check girl on his way out and thanks her for ratting out her co-worker about the coat. Coat Check says that Martina was wearing really expensive sandals the other day. I figured Artie would assume Benny bought them for her.

Artie catches Martina as she's walking out. Before he can even ask a question, Martina breaks down sobbing. Artie asks how she could do it, and Martina says that he was mean to her. So that justifies stealing from an employer? Because I've had a lot of mean bosses, and boy do I have some catching up to do. ["Look, I just asked you why you had so many olives, okay? Please don't steal my identity to buy yourself a boat!" -- Wing Chun] Artie lists off all the nice things he did to help Martina, and she says that as soon as Artie realized she wouldn't fuck him, he started picking on her. Artie denies it. Martina gets pissed off and says, "I go to Benny, and we laugh at you when I fuck him in the pile of money that we take from your stupid customers." Artie fires her, and she stomps out. Artie yells after her that this will go on her permanent record, because "we lead the world in computerized data collection." I don't know why that line cracked me up so much, but it did.

Sopranos

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