Luxury Lounge

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 2 USERS: B-
Luxury Lounge

Kingsley arrives at the Luxury Lounge, accompanied by Little Carmine and Christopher. I don't think he meant for them to join him there. Actually, I think he meant for them to stay by the pool and never talk to him again, but they didn't get the hint. Little Carmine tries to keep talking about the movie, but Kingsley is busy going from table to table and picking up free stuff. Christopher spots Wilmer Valderrama, who has taken over for Carson Daly in my most-hated celebrity spot. God, have you seen that Yo Momma show on MTV? That dude is such a douchebag. I can't wait until That '70s Show ends, and he fades into obscurity. Christopher and Little Carmine follow Kingsley around, as he grabs up free watches and the like. Christopher can't believe that everything is free, and looks around with wonder. I'm shocked that someone as Hollywood-obsessed as Christopher hasn't heard about this practice. He obviously never watched Kathy Griffin's show on Bravo. Christopher asks Kingsley what's going on, and Kingsley admits that it's embarrassing. Christopher asks one of the table ladies for an MP3 player, and she ignores him and hands one to Kingsley instead. Kingsley's assistant shows up and tells Kingsley he's got a meeting in ten minutes. Kingsley turns around with a hilarious "Heeeeeey, guys. Looks like I ate up all our time here. What say we catch up in New York?" Christopher is less upset that the meeting's ending, and more upset that Kingsley hasn't hit every table yet. Little Carmine promises to follow up. Kingsley gives Christopher some free sunglasses. A photographer comes over to get a promotional photo of Kingsley, and Christopher and Little Carmine worm their way into the shot.

Benny arrives at Satriale's and hands over some money from the credit-card scam on Christopher's behalf. Tony is impressed with the amount of money, and then hands it over with some extra cash for Benny to take to Vesuvio and pay off his tab.

Artie holds a staff meeting at Vesuvio, explaining that he and Charmaine are not trying to accuse anyone, but need the stealing to stop. Charmaine adds that they won't press charges. Artie says this isn't like stealing toilet paper or olives. One of the waiters thinks Artie's looking at him, and says he didn't take the toilet paper. Artie shoots back, "Or the olives?" The waiter has nothing to say there. Artie adds that the investigators might question the honesty of someone who takes a coat from the Lost and Found. The waiter gets pissed off, and Artie explodes, calling his employees "pieces of shit." He concludes by yelling, "Fuck all of you," and pulling a tablecloth from a table, sending glassware and china crashing to the floor before stomping out. Charmaine starts crying and apologizes to everyone for Artie's behavior.

In the parking lot, Martina smokes a cigarette, paces, and talks to Benny on the phone about how worried she is about the police showing up. Benny calms her down, promising that big companies like that won't come after individuals. Benny hangs up and returns to dinner with his wife at Da Giovanni.

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