Made In America

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | 17 USERS: A
Made In America

Phil and his wife Patty pull into a gas station with Phil's twin grandchildren in the back seat. Phil waves goodbye to the babies (who look like they're under a year old and should probably be rear-facing, but that makes me realize that I have too many friends with infants) and gets out of the SUV to make a call. He leans in the passenger window to give Patty instructions about the prescription she's about to pick up. As he talks, a hand holding a gun comes into frame and Phil is shot in the head. Patty starts screaming and gets out of the SUV without putting it in park and starts running around like a chicken with her head cut off, squawking. Walden, the shooter, puts another bullet in Phil's chest and then takes off in a car. Patty has not only left the SUV in drive, but she locked the keys inside. And the babies are in there. She starts pounding on the window as the SUV rolls forward slowly. A guy runs up and tries to help her as a crowd of teenagers watches in horror. The SUV rolls forward, right over Phil's head, which we hear but do not see. The captioning reads, "Head squishes, pops. Patty wails." That's about as accurate a description as you'll get. One of the teens watching pukes all over the place. Oh, Phil. I thought you deserved a more dignified and honorable death.

In his office, Agent Harris watches some Al Jazeera footage. His partner walks in and informs Harris that Phil Leotardo got whacked. Agent Harris excitedly pounds the desk and says, "Damn! We're gonna win this thing!" Looks like someone is identifying a little too much with his prey. Or former prey.

Tony and Carmela sit at the dining room table. AJ joins them. Carmela carefully starts out by explaining that they don't want him to join the Army. AJ says condescendingly, "This country is in a crisis." Carmela asks what good AJ will be (only in nicer words), and AJ says he could join the CIA afterwards. Tony wonders what happened to the helicopter pilot idea. AJ brings up that Tony wanted him to go to military school, and Carmela says she was always opposed to that. Now AJ claims that he wants to be an officer, and Carmela points out that he had terrible grades and flunked out of college. AJ gets pissed and accuses his mother of being dramatic when she claims he'll get his legs blown off. I thought he watched the news? Lots of injured and dead soldiers on there every night. I don't know that Carm is being a drama queen in this one instance. Tony asks what Rhiannon thinks. AJ admits that she's against it too. Carmela decides it's time to play the trump card (but not the Trump card). She brings up how AJ used to want to own a club, and he has a lot of friends in film school. Tony chimes in that he has a script from Daniel Baldwin, and it's "about a private detective that gets sucked into the internet through his, uh, data port?" Sounds awesome. Tony explains that Little Carmine is interested in developing the film. When AJ says that Carmine only produces porn, Tony reminds him of Cleaver. Carmela says that AJ could be a development executive on the project. AJ looks intrigued. Tony says that once AJ has some real-world experience, Tony might help set him up with a club. And...there go AJ's strongly-held convictions.

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