Made In America

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | 19 USERS: A-
Made In America

As Tony walks back to the van, his phone rings. It's Agent Harris, who says quietly that Phil's calls are coming from a pay phone in Oyster Bay. Agent Harris is lying on a bed in a cheap motel room, and damn, dude has a hairy chest. And stomach. And that's as far as I'm going to go, because I don't want to know any more about Agent Harris, including his first name or his manscaping needs. Harris hangs up the phone quickly when a woman, another FBI agent, walks out of the bathroom. She looks pissed. I'm guessing she's his friend in Brooklyn, and he got the info from her, and she realizes now that she was used. It's not like motel bathroom doors are so thick that you can't hear through them. Also, Agent Harris is kind of turning into Tony with the domestic arguments and the affairs.

Benny and Walden stake out a gas station in Oyster Bay, watching the pay phone.

AJ and Rhiannon are parked in the woods, listening to Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" on AJ's SUV stereo. This is apparently the first time AJ has heard of Bob Dylan, and Rhiannon (who must have a hippie mom, seriously) says that it's like the lyrics are about today's current events. Yeah, maaaaan. Turn it up. They stare at each other for a minute, but AJ fails to make a move. Rhiannon puts out her cigarette and they stare at each other again. AJ worries that they're about to make a mistake, but he makes a move anyway, and they start making out. Rhiannon climbs over and straddles AJ as he sits in the driver's seat. Items of clothing are removed. Unbeknownst to AJ and Rhiannon, smoke starts coming in through the vents. I thought Rhiannon dropped her cigarette into the SUV's hood somehow. Finally, AJ notices the flames spewing from the front of the SUV and sits up. They hustle out of the SUV and down a ravine. AJ yells, "I parked in leaves!" as the SUV goes up in flames. AJ notes that at least his gas tank was practically empty, so of course, the entire truck explodes like seconds later. Damn. AJ really needed to get laid. That's too bad.

Cut to Tony screaming at AJ as Meadow and Carmela stand by and glare. Tony reminds AJ that he told him time and time again to be careful where he parks due to "the catalytic converter and the dry vegetation." AJ says numbly that he didn't see the leaves. Carmela says, "If there was children playing in those leaves, you'd have run them over?" WHAAAAAAAAT? Talk about a non sequitur. How does her mind work? I still don't know. AJ's response is classic: "I...guess?" Meadow tries to defend AJ and gets some screams from Tony for her trouble. She stands up and calls Tony "Mr. Fat Mouth" and leaves the house. Real mature, Meadow. See? People never change. AJ goes into his big victim speech about how he's depressed and he can't be arsed to look for piles of leaves. Carmela tells AJ he's not getting another SUV. AJ looks on the bright side and says he'll be forced to take the bus, because "we have to break our dependence on foreign oil." Tony and Carmela are stunned into silence at that one. First of all, I would die to see ONE SCENE of AJ on a public bus. And second, how do the actors not laugh when AJ spouts out such crap?

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