Marco Polo

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Happy Birthday To Hugh

Bonpensiero's. Diet Tony arrives just as Phil is checking out his car again. DT introduces himself to Joey Peeps, and there's a bit of low-level mobster bonding as they both take in Phil's increasingly ridiculous antics. "I don't feel like I'm sitting at twelve o'clock," he bitches, still complaining about the passenger seat. And frankly, I don't understand why that's a problem, anyway. Isn't it supposed to be ten and two? Diet Tony samples the seat himself, and declares that it seems fine to him. Phil won't take fine for an answer, though, and demands yet again that it be dealt with, which elicits a little eye-rolling laugh from Joey Peeps. Angie whines that replacing the seat will cost a fortune, which prompts Diet Tony to suggest that they just throw in a CD player and call the whole thing even. Except Phil already has a CD player. Oops. If only he'd suggested satellite radio. Phil leaves while Angie is furiously ranting that she's getting screwed out of a $2,000 factory seat, and Joey takes this time to say how happy he was to meet Diet Tony. Oh, yeah? See if you still feel that way in half-an-hour.

And, at long last, it's finally party time, with everyone gathered in the back yard. We see Chris and Adriana chatting with Cousin Brian, and Pa pouring drinks for a bunch of his geezer buddies. A half-dozen or so kids are frolicking in the pool, while nearby, Finn is running an ice cube down Meadow's cleavage. Oh, that's nice. Those kids will be in therapy for years. On the other hand, I've never liked Meadow more. Inside, Carmela is still cooking when Ma comes in, freaking out because she's just discovered that Dr. Fegoli is allergic to tomatoes. Ma, as we'll soon come to learn, has something of class crush on the good doctor, and she's very concerned that things go perfectly for him. Artie saves the day (another sentence I never thought I'd write) by telling her that he's got some appetizers with no tomatoes, and Ma rushes off to make Fegoli a plate.

When she delivers it to his table, we join Father RinTinTin in the middle of a smarmy discourse on how it must be awful for an Italian to be allergic to "pommodori." Dr. Fegoli, who is played by Bruce Kirby, claims the allergy came on suddenly, after they gave him radiation for his prostate. And that mental image is probably the only thing disgusting enough to distract me from how annoying Intintoola is. Ma tells everyone that Livia and the rest of the Soprano family always hated northern Italian cooking, mostly because they're not big fans of the butter. Um, has she ever seen Tony? He's probably got "Butterball" printed right on his butter gut, for God's sack. There are all kinds of subtle class warfare going on in this scene, as Ma complains that the Sopranos are tasteless and tacky, because they never went to Italy, and thus can't understand the majesty of the food. "I ate like a champ all the way up and down The Boot, the whole two weeks" adds Pa, which unintentionally invalidates the pretentious point that Ma was trying to make. Hoping to distract the Fegolis from this fact, Ma praises the recipes they used to send, calling them "a revelation." And then her lips start to melt, because they're puckered right up against the doctor's radioactive ass.

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