Sopranos
Marco Polo

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
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Happy Birthday To Hugh

And then, suddenly, it's morning, and Artie wakes up and staggers back into the house.

Diet Tony is also awake, suffering through a silent breakfast while his mother watches a TV show about tenderizing meat. Always with the subtext on this show. Cut to Frankie Valli, getting a call, and Diet Tony glumly announces that he's in.

Das Sopranohaus. Tony is awake and pulling on his clothes, but before leaving, he does at least make an effort to see if Carmela is awake. In what may actually be a first for televised entertainment, she completely fails open her eyes once he's gone and reveal that she was awake the whole time.

And then, finally, we end our evening in a whorehouse. It seems somehow appropriate, don't you think? The hottest hooker in all of New Jersey (which pretty much just means that she still has all her teeth) is coming off her shift just as Joey Peeps is collecting for the week, and a wink and a smile from Joe is all it takes to convince her to leave with him. That will soon prove to be the worst decision of her life, but not for the reasons you might expect. As soon as they both get into Joey's car, Diet Tony suddenly appears and starts knocking on the window. Joey rolls it down to see what's up, and DT immediately whips out a gun and kills them both. Unfortunately, however, Joey had already disengaged the parking brake, so the car rolls forward and over Diet Tony's foot. Heh. This guy can't win for losing, can he? And as Diet Tony limps back to his car, and the music kicks up on the soundtrack, and a camera dolly rolls down the sidewalk, we fade to black, secure in the knowledge that bikinis and mob hits are always more fun than horses and cry-babies.

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Sopranos

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