Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1171 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Mayham

Carmela and Meadow return to Tony's room, where Barbara and her husband have spent the night. I would kind of like an episode about Barbara's husband. Who is he? What does he do? When did he find out about Barbara's family business? Did Barbara ever consider marrying someone in the Family? I realize I'm probably the only person who cares about Barbara and her husband, but I find them fascinating, probably because it's such a mystery. Carmela wishes Tony a good morning.

PurgaTony sits in his favorite bar and drinks. He tells the bartender that he found out yesterday that he has Alzheimer's. The bartender expresses sympathy and kind of walks away, even though the bar is not at all busy. The bartender clearly just doesn't really want to get involved. PurgaTony says that his uncle has memory loss, and that it's probably hereditary. One reason I could never be a bartender: you're forced to make conversation with annoying people, and you have to be nice and pretend to care about their stupid problems. I think I would most often want to say, "Maybe if you quit drinking in a bar every night, your life wouldn't suck so much." But I don't think that would be good for business. PurgaTony softly asks, "Is it possible that I am Kevin Finnerty?" The bartender kind of gives him a look like, "You've got to be shitting me, right?" PurgaTony pretends he was just joking and gazes out at the horizon, where the beacon of light has returned.

Meadow and AJ hang out in Tony's room and listen to Sheryl Crow. Meadow sits down and opens a box, taking out some pizza. AJ turns around and grabs a slice, and Meadow moves her arm to let him grab it. I really liked this wordless scene that showed how this crisis is bringing Meadow and AJ closer, even if AJ is being kind of a douche in general. Maybe that's why Meadow gets him; she was a douche at his age, too.

Silvio heads into a bathroom stall and prepares to take care of business. He's obviously planning on being in there for a while, since he brought a cup of coffee (ew!) and a newspaper. I can get behind the paper, but food and drink do not mix with bathroom-type activities in my book. Vito walks in and asks Silvio whether he heard about the Columbian takedown. Sil has, and Vito says that there should be enough money in it for everyone, including Carmela, if Sil thinks she should get some. Sil is annoyed that Vito is interrupting his shit. Paulie limps in, clearly still suffering from getting nutted by the Columbian. He checks out his hair wings in the mirror while commenting that the ICU is a "grim fucking scene." Well, sorry Tony doesn't periodically grab a microphone and start doing a comedy routine. Sil calls out that Carmela is "one brave lady," and Paulie looks shocked that there's someone else in the bathroom. Most shows would have absolutely had Paulie give out some incriminating or embarrassing information, not knowing that Silvio was in there; I'm glad this one didn't. Vito says that he's going to give part of his half from the Columbian takedown to Carm. Paulie thinks he deserves more than half of the cash because "it was fucking mayham" and now he needs "an ultrasound on [his] groin and balls." Vito asks Silvio for his opinion, and Sil agrees that it should break half and half, and they'll both give 20\% for him to give to Carmela. Paulie says that he's happy to hand over $80K. Vito starts arguing that now Paulie is trying to lie about the total sum involved. Silvio asks, "What's with the fucking accounting out there?" and reminds them that the money goes to Carmela, who's in a bad position right now. Paulie and Vito pretend like they're fine with it, but you know they really aren't.

Sopranos

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