AJ is trying to kill a bug…or something…with his baseball mitt…and he's jumping around on his bed and flailing ineffectually at the bug…I guess…when Carmela comes in with the fugly polo shirt in hand and snips, "This is a new shirt. Your grandmother bought you this shirt, I find it in the trash?" "It's a Westport. It's not even cool anymore," AJ tells her. "What did you just say?" Carmela demands. AJ admits that he got into a fight. Carmela hopes that AJ did as much damage to the other guy's wardrobe, and asks who he got into a fight with. AJ says hopefully that he didn't get caught, "no demerits," but Carmela isn't put off so easily: "Anthony, who?" AJ sighs, "Jeremy." Carmela is shocked; AJ and Jeremy "spent all that time together at camp -- I thought you were friends." Oh, the cluelessness of parents about their kids' friendships. AJ stares at her blankly, and Carmela announces that "if that's all the information I'm getting, I'm calling Mrs. Piocosta." AJ jumps down from the bed and follows her into the hall, begging her not to call. Carmela says the kids have to learn the value of a dollar -- pretty ironic considering the amount of tacky gold she's got hanging off her right now, but anyway, AJ offers to wash her car. "You never put any effort in," she says dismissively. AJ swears he will this time, "just don't call." Grudgingly, she agrees. AJ watches her go and sighs.
The common area of the nursing home -- oh, sorry, "retirement community." Tony visits Livia and brings her macaroons. Livia starts to exclaim happily over them, then remembers that she hates everything and rearranges her face into a sneer, grumping, "Ahhhh, they're too sweet." She waves a hand and goes to sit down on a couch. Tony snaps, "What are you talkin' about, they're your favorites!" Realizing it's fruitless, he gives up for once, taking a seat on the sofa and changing the subject; he heard from the activities director that there's a trip to the city planned to see a show. Livia waves a hand again. Tony finishes, "And you don't wanna go." "I don't like the people here." "You don't know the people here." Livia starts listing the horrors of the city, and Tony points out in his usual tone of asperity that "it's not like that anymore, Ma," but she goes on talking about grown men soiling themselves and women pitching babies out of skyscraper windows and whatnot, and when Tony tries to suggest mingling with the other seniors, Livia snorts, "What do you care? Out of sight, out of mind!" Tony says he doesn't think like that, and neither does Carmela and neither do the kids. Livia moans in a tiny voice, "I wish the Lord would take me now." Yeah, get in line. Tony looks at his hands, closes his eyes for a long moment, and says, "You know, I come here to get cheered up, you think that's a mistake?" Hee. Livia asks if he's "being sarcastic." Tony says she can't put all her problems on him: "This is the most expensive retirement community in New Jersey, and if you wanted to, you could be happy here, but you're just pissin' it all down the drain." Livia busts on him for his language; Tony gives her an angry look, and Livia looks away. "You want the macaroons?" Hand wave: "I don't care." Tony heaves himself to his feet and reaches for the box; Livia bites her lip and suggests, "Leave some out for the lunatics." Tony dumps a few cookies unceremoniously into a bowl and kisses Livia goodbye.