First, character updates that don't apply to the storylines in this episode but will probably be relevant later. Meadow and Finn are still together, and Meadow is trying to get some sort of internship. AJ is in college, but apparently living at home and still basically being a screwup. Artie and Charmaine are reconciling. Carmela and Angie "Big Pussy's Widow" Bonpensiero are friends again. Wide Guy (Vito) is no longer so wide: he's dropped a lot of weight and won't shut up about his exercise regime. Carmela is working on her spec house, but her father used the wrong type of lumber in building it, and the inspector says that they have to knock the whole thing down and start from scratch. Carm and Tony seem to be getting along really well, and Tony buys Carm a new Porsche. Tony is still seeing Melfi, and they're still talking about his mother. Christopher is still sober. Johnny Sack is in prison, and Ginny is trying to hold onto the family assets. Phil Leotardo is running things while Johnny is behind bars. Tony thinks things are going okay, until some of Phil's people attack Hesh and his son-in-law over a misunderstanding. Phil won't talk to Tony about it, so Tony has to use back channels (Ginny's brother) to reach Johnny. Phil makes amends, but also wants to revise the financial split on another deal. Christopher can't believe that Tony agrees to it all without much argument, but Tony says that he has to try to keep the peace with Phil, since Phil is still pissed about his brother getting whacked. Gene Montecorvo (the guy who got made with Christopher) gets an inheritance and wants out of the Family to retire to Florida with his family. Meanwhile, Ray Curto kicks the bucket while giving information to the Feds. After doing a hit for Christopher, Gene thinks Tony will let him out, but Tony says no through Silvio. And then it turns out that Gene is talking to the Feds too, but now that Ray is dead, the Feds don't want Gene to go to Florida either. Gene's wife is very upset that they can't leave, so Gene finds another way out when he hangs himself (in a really ineffectual manner, essentially strangling himself) in his garage. Uncle Junior has continued to deteriorate mentally. Janice (who has had a baby with Bobby Baccala) wants to put him in a nursing home, but Tony refuses to consider it. Junior is not only forgetful, but also increasingly paranoid. At the end of the episode, Tony goes over to Junior's to cover when his sister Barbara has a family emergency and Janice pretty much refuses to help out. Junior goes upstairs to look for his dentures while Tony cooks dinner. Junior returns with a gun, and shoots Tony in the gut, because he thinks Tony is his long-dead enemy, Pussy Malanga. Junior runs upstairs and hides in his closet while Tony bleeds profusely and tries to drag himself over to a phone. After an agonizingly long time, Tony manages to dial 911, but passes out before he can say anything. The episode ends and there are no previews for next week.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Normally I don't recap the "Previously On" segment, but it's been two years, so I think we all need a refresher. Previously, Tony's cousin, Diet Tony (Steve Buscemi) got out of jail. Tony revealed to Melfi that he felt responsible for Diet Tony's going to jail. Carmela told Tony that she wanted a divorce. Uncle Junior started having some less-than-lucid moments, and Tony and Janice fought over how to handle the situation. Adriana didn't want to be a rat any more, and tried to convince Christopher to enter Witness Protection with her, and then got a bullet in the brain for her troubles. Tony and Johnny Sack argued over territory. Meadow's boyfriend Finn started working construction for Tony, and inadvertently found out that Vito (formerly "Wide Guy") is gay. Meadow and Finn got engaged. AJ was more interested in partying than he was in studying. Tony and Carmela brokered a deal: he would stake her in her new construction enterprise, and she would let him move back in. Diet Tony killed Phil Leotardo's brother, and Phil wanted vengeance. Rather than let Phil kill Diet Tony the slow way, Tony did the deed himself. When Phil still wasn't satisfied, Tony went to Johnny Sack, who agreed that the matter was resolved. And then the FBI showed up to arrest Johnny Sack.
Agent Harris and Agent New Guy are driving somewhere. Agent New Guy says, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." Hey, how about the Canadians? I guess we all know that they have excellent taste. ["Not all of us." -- Wing Chun] Agent Harris suddenly starts retching, and Agent New Guy pulls over so that Agent can spew chunks all over the road. Nice way to open the season.
After that lovely scene, the following montage is shown, with a voice-over by William S. Burroughs reading his poem "Seven Souls." Just in case it's important later, I'll detail what Burroughs is saying with what we're seeing on the screen.