Ways You Know You've Been Watching Too Much Television -- #3: You realize that Tony's new remote is the same one that the Osbournes have, and you're disappointed that David Chase didn't go for the contemporary pop culture reference by including a scene where AJ teaches Tony how to use it.
Cut to later, as Tony is sleeping in front of the TV while Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" blares on the speakers. What, no Wizard of Oz? That's two references in a row they've missed. Hmm. Tony finally rises from his stupor and flips the unit back over the TV input, where we once again get a scene from The Fugitive. As only about fifteen minutes have elapsed in the movie since the last time we were watching, this means that Tony has either finally joined the TiVolution himself, or else he's watching a certain cable network with a fondness for running the same movie seventeen times a day. And while we're picking nits, what's up with this show's obsession with the entire Pantoliano oeuvre? They've already done The Matrix, now we're getting The Fugitive, and technically speaking, Joey really actually was Guido The Killer Pimp in "University." Hell, you could even make the argument that the lesbian Icelandic stewardesses and gratuitous ass shot in the season premiere were secretly a subtle shout-out to Bound. I'm beginning to think someone on the writing staff over there has themselves a print-out of Joey's IMDb page, and they ain't gonna stop 'til they get to The Goonies. Anyway, now that the length of this paragraph is completely out of proportion to the importance of the scene it's recapping, I'll just wrap things up by telling you that Tony pulls out Valentina's card and decides to give her a call.
The next day, Tony and Valentina go to meet the horse painter she recommended. For the record, this guy is no Degas, baby. I've seen better work at a Bob Ross fan-club meeting. Tony seems to like it, however, and he hands over a picture of himself, Joey, and Pie-O-My, with instructions to crop Joey out of the finished product. Ooh. Now that's just rude. Painter Guy quotes him a price of $6,500, and after ensuring that the frame is included and determining that Valentina thinks it's a good deal, Tony accepts. He pulls out a wad of cash and pays on the spot, which leaves Painter Guy a bit discombobulated. "I'd, uh, better get you a receipt," he says, taking the opportunity to leave Tony and Valentina alone. Tony proposes a toast "the beautiful señorita whose idea this was in the first place." "I bet you say that to all the girls," replies Valentina coquettishly. They banter a bit more, and Valentina suggests that they stop on the way back to get something to eat. "Yeah, we could definitely stop," answers Tony with a knowing smile. Damn. You know why women find Tony attractive? It's pure, unadulterated (bad choice of words here. Sorry.) confidence. From the moment he made that toast, it never even crossed his mind that these two weren't going to end up in bed. And Gandolfini did a perfect job playing it on just the right side of arrogance. Hell, I'm starting to find the guy sexy myself.













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