Sopranos
Mergers & Acquisitions

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
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Mother should I check the mall?

Joss Whedon: Please. Mothers shmothers. Everyone knows it's Dad that's bad.
David Chase: You've obviously never met my mother.
Joss Whedon: Hey, what do you think would happen if we ever mixed your mom with my dad? I'm thinking we could, like, clone an unstoppable evil army and take over the world or something.
David Chase: I don't know. That's like pure, concentrated evil we'd be dealing with. I'm not sure we should go there.
Joss Whedon: Why not?
David Chase: My mother and your father? We'd probably get a guy determined to address the weightier issues of the human condition, but failing miserably because of his obsession with trying to work in clever dialogue.
Joss Whedon: In other words, Aaron Sorkin.
David Chase: Yep.
Joss Whedon: Yeah, you're right. That's too evil even for me.

On his way home from Melfi's office, Tony picks up the phone and calls Valentina's gallery. When she answers, however, he gets a flash of her and Joey embracing, and decides to hang up without saying anything. Given the sometimes juvenile nature of their relationship, I'm surprised he didn't ask if she had Prince Albert in a can.

Back at home, Carmela is in bed alone. Again. Only this time, instead of reading a subtextually relevant book, she's listening to a subtextually relevant news report on CNBC. The other important difference is that Tony is actually at home this time. In fact, he's in the shower, singing Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall." Interestingly enough, the only words to the song he doesn't seem to know are "dark sarcasm," which is as apt a description for this show as I've ever heard. Rather than dump some cold water in on him, Carmela decides to take an even more vicious form of revenge. She grabs his keys off the nightstand, runs outside, and quickly removes fifty thousand in cash from the bag of birdseed while Maria Bartiromos talks all the while about developing a contingency plan in case your husband isn't able to support you. Wow. Just think about all the great Lladro stuff she could buy with that money. It truly boggles the mind to even consider it.

Green Grove. Paulie is trying to deliver a pep talk to Mama Walnuts, who refuses to even get out of bed. Apparently Cookie is continuing to exclude her, even though Mama has tried her hardest to be nice. "I bought [her] a card from the gift shop downstairs," she sobs, in preparation for providing the weekly product placement. "I cared enough, and I sent the very best!" Oh, all right. I'll give that a "heh." But it's a principled and vaguely disapproving one. Paulie promises to straighten everything out, but also realizes that the problem is even worse than he thought.

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Sopranos

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