Mergers & Acquisitions

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
Mother should I check the mall?

Green Grove again. Paulie meets with Head Nurse to complain about the treatment his mother has been receiving. For those of you who are interested in some of the behind-the-scenes, technical details of recapping, I'll just let you know that I considered naming this woman Nurse Crotchety as a play on Nurse Ratched. Then I decided that nickname sucked, which is why I'm still stuck with "Head Nurse." Sometimes it's easy (Alexis Trebekjavik), and sometimes it ain't. Anyway, Head Nurse runs down all the reasons why Mama Walnuts is having a hard time adjusting. They include the fact that she cries all the time, that she rarely ever puts her teeth in, and, worst of all, that she's a tattletale. That last part was the whole point of this entire subplot, because now we see that the walnut doesn't really fall far from the tree. As I said in the recaplet, if it's not one thing, it's your mother.

At a rest stop somewhere, Tony picks up a pay phone to call Christopher. Once again, the kid is sleeping in broad daylight. Before Tony can deliver all his instructions, however, he gets a call from Valentina on his cell phone. Although he's reluctant to deal with her at first, he finally breaks down and agrees to meet up with her later in the day. Then he sets a meet with Christopher, and slams down the phone.

Cut to the high school, where Little Paulie and Vinnie Delpino chase Principal Chucky through the hallways. Now I know Sars laughed at me the last time I suggested that one of these guys call the cops, and I do admit this was a pretty funny scene, but I still have a hard time believing that anyone could chase a principal through his own school like that and get away with it. There's like five hundred witnesses in every shot, and at least one of those kids has got to be angling for a spot on the honor roll. Oh, well.

Tony is drinking a Diet Coke at the bar where he agreed to meet Valentina, and he's got the bottle conspicuously turned just enough so that he's not product placing the logo. Yeah, that'll help. She finally runs in behind him, and apologizes for being late. Then she confesses that she and Joey just broke up, because he came into the bedroom the previous night wearing a leather mask. Ew. I need to go wash my brain out. "This means we can be together," she says, stroking his arm. Tony claims to be a "happily married man," and very gently tries to explain that a relationship just isn't going to happen. "Why not?" she asks. "Well, for one thing," replies Tony, "I already took his horse." I'm not sure why, but this particular reason seems to be the only one that really angers Valentina, because she hauls off and slaps him before running out of the restaurant. Oh, Tony, Tony, Tony. Don't you think you might want to be a little bit nicer to the girl, especially considering that you know just how loose her lips really are?

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