Sopranos
Mergers & Acquisitions

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Mother should I check the mall?

Next, we get a brief shot of Tony sitting alone in the food court of what appears to be the same mall where Adriana met her FBI contact a few weeks back. I have issues with this scene, but we can talk about them later.

Vesuvio. Carmela sits entranced by that Italian cityscape mural on the wall as the world-famous Furio Fantasy Dance Mix plays in her head. Tony finally manages to get her attention just in time for her to grill Artie over whether or not they ever caught the "muggers" who attacked him. After exchanging an awkward glance with Tony, Artie tactfully changes the subject to the dessert menu and then proceeds to clear the table. Once he's gone, Carmela turns to Cousin Brian, and asks for some financial advice on handling the proceeds from the property they sold down in Newark. She means Uncle Junior's place on Frelinghuysen Avenue, but a befuddled Brian wonders if she's talking about the HUD scam. "Kid loves Paul Newman movies," covers Tony. "No more grappa for you." Heh. Brian recovers to explain that he locked them into T-bills with the money, and did so before the rates dropped. "Is there anything this kid doesn't know about money?" wonders an exuberant Tony as he hugs Brian. "You know I trust him a thousand percent." Carmela appears to be two thousand percent dismayed by this news.

Joss Whedon: Man, this show is so boring now. Where's the action? Where's the plot development? Where's all the violence and clever quips?
David Chase: Well, we're trying something a little different now, and…
Joss Whedon: Whatever. If I were running this show, Carmela would have totally banished his cheating ass to a hell dimension or something by now.
David Chase: I think what we got here is a failure to communicate.

And if Carmela is unhappy, can Father Intintoola really be all that far behind? We cut to a diaper drive at the church, and I'm assuming this scene takes place a long time after the last one, because Carmela's roots are now significantly darker than they were at dinner. Father Tool Time is upset because they got a lot more newborn diapers than, I don't know, teenager diapers or whatever, but as Rosalie hilariously observes, "The girls at Our Lady shelter should be grateful. I mean, nobody told them to go out and have babies without husbands." Heh. She's feisty now that they've got her off the meds. Anyway, no scene with Carmela these days is complete without a discussion of money, so her and Rosalie start chatting about Ro's financial situation when her husband died. "I didn't know what we had until after I buried Jackie," she explains. "Was it enough?" inquires Carmela. "Sort of," replies Rosalie. "Not really." Carmela is dismayed to learn that the last boss didn't take care of his family, and presumably wonders if Tony will make the same mistake. "I'm not a feminist," she declares emphatically. "I'm not saying 50/50, but Jesus! I put up with the goomar shit, pardon my French." Heh. That line is funny like four different ways. Carmela is at least relieved that Cousin Brian is handling the money now, although she is a little concerned about his newfound relationship with Tony. Rosalie, however, is like, "Dude. Until the guy asks you to rub a cheese grater on his dick, I don't wanna hear any complaints."

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Sopranos

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