Moe N' Joe

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 3 USERS: B
Moe N' Joe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Sal Vitro, who you may remember as the landscaper that Tony screwed over and used as a pawn to appease Johnny Sack, stands outside Casa di Soprano and waits for Tony to appear. Tony comes waddling out in his bathrobe to grab the paper (a first for this season, although most seasons open that way), and Sal corners him to ask whether he still needs to cut Johnny Sack's lawn for free, even though Johnny's in prison and all. There's snow on the ground, indicating that a month or two has passed since the last episode. Tony reminds Sal that they took care of his Feech La Manna problem. Tell me Feech La Manna doesn't sound like a skin disease: "Doctor, do you have any ointment to help out with this Feech La Manna on my back? It's killing me!" Tony calls Sal "a selfish prick" for not realizing that this is when the Sack family needs him most. Sal refrains from pointing out that he's losing money on the deal, and kind of just wants things to go back to the way they were before Feech happened.

Johnny Sack meets with his lawyer. I will say this about the lighting director for this show -- he knows how to make the smoke curling off Johnny's ever-present cigarettes look really freaking cool. Anyway, the lawyer says that he's been told to clear his schedule, which means that Johnny's trial is going to happen -- and soon. Also, the government has drawn up a list of Johnny's assets. Johnny checks out the list and is shocked to see that his "vintage Wurlitzer" on there, and wonders whether the Feds went though his sock drawer. I know Johnny is rich and all, but is his sock drawer really big enough to contain a jukebox? The lawyer lets Johnny know that the Feds found pretty much everything, and estimated Johnny's worth at around five million. Really? I would have thought it was more than that. I mean, his house alone has got to be worth a million or more, right? Of course, this is just his legitimate money, the money they could find. Johnny wonders why his lawyer is trying to bring him down, and the lawyer says that he's obligated to bring up the idea of cooperating with the Feds again. Johnny gets pissed and equates flipping on the Family to his presumably Jewish lawyer collaborating with the Nazis. The lawyer says that he wouldn't represent a turncoat anyway, and Johnny grumbles that turncoats would kill the lawyer's practice. Well, not exactly. Someone has to negotiate the terms, right?

Tony peruses through some pornography is his office. Just another hint that things are looking up in Tony's pants. Ew, not like that. Well, actually, exactly like that, you perv. He's interrupted when Janice rolls in with Nica in a stroller. Tony hides his magazine, as Janice starts bitching about some special pork loin she ordered that Tony absconded with for Carmela. As much as I enjoy Tony and Janice scrapping, I would really like to see Carmela and Janice get into a no-holds-barred fight. If it didn't get physical, I might bet on Carmela. Bitch can be ice cold. But Janice would totally throw beer into someone's weave. Anyway, Tony smiles at Nica, and says that she looks just like Janice, adding, "Bacala's got no fucking genes at all." How is that even an insult? I guess it could be a knock at Bobby's masculinity. Janice notes that Tony never misses a chance to "shit on" her husband, which is an unfortunate mental image. Tony backpedals, and Janice wants Tony to admit that he blames them for the shooting. Tony says, "Unfortunately, I have only myself to blame." Janice picks up on the word "unfortunately" and says that Tony clearly wants to blame someone. What is she, Melfi now? Tony carefully rephrases: "I have only myself to blame."

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