As Johnny Sack smokes in his jail cell, Deputies Feather and Mayweather, U.S. Marshals, show up to escort him to the wedding. Feather remind Johnny that his release is at their discretion, and that they can bring him back whenever they want. Johnny doesn't pay attention, because he's too busy yelling at his lawyer for bringing out-of-style shoes to wear with his tux.
Carm and Tony prepare to go to the wedding. Carm writes out the card and check and reminisces about Allegra's christening, which seems like yesterday. Tony cracks, "1980. Fifty pound bundle of joy." Meadow walks in and Tony starts talking about her wedding. Meadow is grossed out that her parents keep tabs on how much money they give to brides at weddings, and Tony explains that they need to make sure the Sacrimonis don't stiff Meadow on her big day. I seriously don't get what happened in American culture that turned weddings into for-profit ventures. I'm not going to lie: when I got married, my husband and I spent part of our wedding night counting cash. But it wasn't like I singled out people and said, "Can you believe they slipped us $10? Cheapskates! We gave them $50!" or whatever. ["Hey, that was all we could afford! The Canadian dollar was very weak!" -- Wing Chun] And my dad, who paid for part of the festivities, absolutely never asked who gave how much. Anyway. Meadow complains about all the pressure she feels about getting married, and Carmela says that Tony is the one pushing for a wedding. Meadow says that Carmela is always talking about having a grandchild. Tony wonders if she and Finn have set a date, and Meadow says, "This discussion is over." Look, I get that it's really none of Tony's business, but I don't think that question is out of line from one family member to another. Tony goes into an emotional speech about how, since his coma, he looks forward to holding his grandkids, and Meadow looks upset and rushes out of the room. I wonder what is going on with her and Finn.
Tons and tons of people show up at Allegra's wedding, and since each has to go through the metal detector to get in, there's a big line outside the church. The Marshals show up with Johnny in handcuffs, and everyone waiting outside rubbernecks. The security people take forever harassing people trying to enter the church. Phil complains to Tony that Johnny had to pay for all the security out of his own pocket. Meadow, shocked, asks, "The government did that?" I thought Meadow was a little more worldly at this point. I could see AJ asking that question, but not her. Tony complains that it's hot, and then has trouble getting through the metal detector because he forgets to remove his watch. A security lady wands him and asks him to remove his shoes. Tony looks mortified and pissed about the whole thing, so Carmela bitches, to no avail. Tony bends over to remove his shoes, and kind of swoons. Finn and Christopher catch him, and AJ rushes to get a chair. Christopher loosens Tony's tie and collar as the rest of the people in line rubberneck some more. Man, this wedding turned out to be pretty exciting and it hasn't even started yet! I'm sure the neighborhood gossips will go on this material for weeks. "Yes, Brenda! Johnny Sacrimoni was rushed in wearing handcuffs! I heard they made him wear the cuffs as he walked his daughter down the aisle, bless her heart. And that Tony Soprano had a minor heart attack outside the church. You heard about his uncle, right? The crazy one? And his daughter, what's her name? Fawn or something? She must be going crazy with stress, the poor thing. She looks like she hasn't eaten in weeks. I heard she and her fiancé broke up, too, but he just came to the wedding with her to make Tony happy. Well, wouldn't you? Oh, honey, my Bundt cake is almost done. Call you later." Anyway, Meadow bitches at the security guards, and Mr. Clean removes Tony's shoes for him as Carmela rubs his head.