Vesuvio. Artie whines about his divorce for a minute, but then Christopher arrives for his weekly chewing out from Tony. Tony reports that he got a "very angry call" from the construction company, and Christopher immediately thinks it's about "the M-80 in the Porta-Pot." And while it is true that I would have loved to have seen that, it's not the real reason Tony's mad. The boss goes on to explain that drawing heat to a quarter-billion-dollar construction project isn't the best idea anyone's ever had. "Use your fuckin' head, Christopher," he snarls, and Chris promises to do so in the future. Oh, yeah. That'll happen.
Cut to an outdoor basketball court somewhere, with Joey Pants and Wide Guy engaged in the worst game of basketball I've seen since I quit playing in the local Jewish league. Of course, the set they're on reminds me a great deal of Joey Pants's apartment in the movie Running Scared, so now I'm all paranoid that Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines are going to show up any second now. What? Stop looking at me like that. On a show that casts Linda Lavin, anything is possible. Joey is all giddy with puppy love for Janice, and Wide Guy is himself enthralled with the "pre-Raphaelite" curls in her hair. He also thinks her "big tits" give her an "earthy" quality. If that's the case, then Wide Guy is about as earthy as they come. He's Eartha Kitt, for Christ's sake. I haven't seen man-boobs like that since Richard Speck's prison-bitch video. Anyway, Joey makes Wide Guy hang around for a second game, and even goes so far as to goad him into playing better defense. Wide Guy thus scores the best line of the night simply by raising his right hand a bit to block Joey's path. Hee!