Oh. My God. What's the one thing you never thought you'd see on HBO? No, not a second season of Mind of the Married Man. Something even more shocking! Carmela is now actually using -- wait for it -- a computer THAT WASN'T MADE BY APPLE!!! Not only that, she's NOT LOGGED INTO AOL!!! I kid you not. There's even a little Gateway logo, right there staring me in the face. I guess this must be part of the fallout from Gerald Levin's departure or something. Or maybe Steve Jobs and Steve Case just forgot to pay their product placement bills. Either way, this does represent a titanic shift in the show's marketing schemes, and I just couldn't let it pass without comment. Anyway, Carmela is reviewing a financial planning website when Tony walks in. She immediately tells him about Meadow's plans for Europe, and Tony freaks out right along with her. AJ comes downstairs at this point for his parole-officer-mandated ten seconds of screen time this week, and promptly asks a question that just about everyone has heard in their own home at some point: "Are you still online?" Carmela, after just telling Tony not to yell at her, turns around and yells at AJ that "as a matter of fact, I am." And then, poof, AJ's gone, never to be seen again. Returning the discussion to Meadow, Tony blames her "constant harping on art" for all their problems, and Carmela insists that they send Meadow to the shrink Melfi recommended. Tony, on the other hand, would rather have her see a counselor at Columbia, because they're "Ivy League" there. I'm just going to assume that Sars has already fired me in brackets somewhere by this point, and just skip the inevitable Princeton joke. ["Aaaaand now you're fired." -- Sars]
This week's contribution from The HBO Department Of Creatively Selected Video Symbolism is a clip from Everybody Loves Raymond about couples who don't need to talk to each other. So, of course, the Ironic Segue Fairy cuts us from there to Chris and Adriana, who will probably have quite a bit to talk about before this episode is over. Chris is still depressed that Tony mistreats him occasionally, and he's decided to use that as an excuse to get high again, even though he promised to quit. "This is my goodbye party with heroin," he explains, repeating the famous last words of just about every drug addict on the planet. Adriana makes a completely nonsensical statement about something Lola said regarding sending food to poor countries, but all it really does is serve as a conversational bridge to allow Christopher to expound on what he thinks Lola's "problem" is. It's misdirection time again, and we slowly build up to just the point when you think Chris is going to reveal that he knows she's an undercover agent. And then he spoils it by saying, "She's a dyke." Well, at least we got a laugh out of it. Adriana looks shocked by this allegation, but does start to consider it as the scene ends.