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Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
It's Only Puke & Coal (But I Like It)

Outside the restaurant, Christopher is ecstatic over his promotion. "First thing I'm doing," he exclaims, "is getting wings in my hair." Heh. Silvio is not amused.

So, be honest. Who else thought David Chase forgot all about Adriana's club? I mean, with the disappearing Russians and the constant re-arranging of crew memberships, I can hardly blame you, but still. Have some faith, why don't you? Anyway, here we are at The Crazy Horse, the best damn equestrianistically-named club in New Jersey since The Stone Pony (and yes, I know that's not really a word). Symbolism watchers should take further note of the giant pictures of eyeballs that adorn the walls. Adriana and Lola are in there alone, presumably after closing, and as women are sometimes wont to do, they're discussing the possibility of having babies. Lola fails to admit that she already has a baby of her own, and also makes an incredibly ham-handed segue into a story about a former "fuck buddy" of hers who might have been "connected" because he always carried a gun. "It's probably just to protect himself," replies Adriana, who looks uncomfortable with this particular subject. "I mean, Christopher does too, sometimes. When you're in a cash business…" Lola makes me giggle with her arch reply: "Stocks is a cash business?" Heh. Not when you invest in AOL Time Warner, they're not. In what will prove to be only the first of many such subtle misdirections tonight, Adriana leans conspiratorially over the bar and whispers, "Can I tell you something?" An excited Lola quickly agrees, and Adriana stomps around the bar to sit down beside her before finally laying out her big confession: "I don't think I can have kids." Lola isn't sure whether to be sad that she's not getting the Soprano scoop, or simply sympathetic to Adriana's situation. When Ade starts crying, however, Lola pulls her close for a hug, and mentions that she knows a great OB-GYN. You know, the one that her "sister" just went to. She appears almost, but not quite, compassionate.

And it doesn't really matter anyway, because Christopher and Little Paulie come gallivanting into the club at this point, Christopher describing himself as "a man of many mysteries" before handing over a baggie of cocaine and suggesting that Little Paulie use it to take "the odors out of [his] fridge." Heh. With the drugs thus dispensed (in full view of an undercover federal agent), Christopher sends Lola and Little Paulie out of the room so that he can talk to his fiancée. Or, more accurately, so that he can give his fiancée a giant diamond bracelet from Harry Winston that has "more carats than Bugs Bunny." Adriana is astonished, and gets even happier when Christopher explains that "Carmela ain't gonna be first lady forever."

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