No Show

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
It's Only Puke & Coal (But I Like It)

Bada Bing. Silvio mugs in the back room for a minute until Tony comes in, and then he segues right into a dual-purpose conversation complaining about Christopher's behavior. Basically, Silvio is reporting that Patsy feels "marginalized" over Chris's promotion, and Tony is gleefully indicating that he doesn't give a shit. In order to properly understand the scene, however, you really need to insert Silvio's name every time you hear Patsy's, as he's (not that) subtly trying to complain about his own situation. I never thought I'd say this, but Stevie Van Zandt gives great subtext in this scene.

Over at The Crazy Horse, however, there's no room for subtext. That's largely because a band fronted by what appears to be Tom Petty's younger, less-talented brother is playing too loudly for anyone to think. And before you begin the inevitable deluge of emails this week, yes, I do know it's not really Tom Petty's brother. It's actually Tom Jorgensen of the Swinging Neckbreakers, but the resemblance is definitely there. And hey, is that Dean Martin I see on drums? Just kidding. Anyway, Christopher, Lola, and Adriana retire to the back room, where they all crowd together in the center of a giant leather sofa. Chris and Adriana snort some coke, oblivious to the FBI agent, er, "dyke" sitting right next to them. Christopher suggests that they all form a band together, and then proceeds to demonstrate his own wack hip-hop stylings by performing a rap that goes, "My bitch, my ho. My ho, my bitch." The boy certainly is a silver-tongued devil, ain't he? And also? Somebody please shoot me if I ever use the word "wack" again. ["If I hadn't fired you already..." -- Sars] Lola suddenly notices Adriana's new diamond bracelet, and gushes over it for like ten minutes. To Lola Glaudini's credit, you can actually see her break the "Danielle" character for a minute, as she's astonished by the diamonds in her hand.

But then Chris and Adriana start making out, and the only hand Lola has time to be concerned about is Christopher's as it slides up her thigh. She tries to push it away, but Adriana sees what's going on before she can, and predictable results ensue. Lola bolts, and Adriana and Christopher engage in a lengthy screaming match that's highlighted by Adriana's comment, "What, did you think you were going to fuck the both of us? You and those fucking videos!" Heh. Not, of course, that I have any idea what she's talking about. Christopher quickly turns the entire situation around, putting all the blame on Lola. "Use your head, huh?" he says. "What do I want with that skank when I got you?" He also mentions that he only said Lola had a nice ass because he "was trying to say something positive because she's [Adriana's] friend." There's a tearful reconciliation, and the scene ends with Adriana apologizing for ever having doubted Christopher's intentions. You know what? The boy really is a silver-tongued devil after all.

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