Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A- | 1086 USERS: B
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Pine Barrens

When they get there, Paulie is pissed to discover that his car is missing. Tony seems to be the only who grasps that it was probably Drunk Guy who stole it, but that may just be because Paulie is too busy whining about his toes. Chris immediately dives into a cooler of sandwiches, and Tony asks for the money they were supposed to have collected. Paulie sadly admits that the cash was in the car as well, and that the whole thing "couldn't be helped." Tony turns to look at Christopher, who thinks for a minute and then backs up Paulie's story. They debate whether or not to go after Valery again (like, hello?! He stole the car!), but Paulie assures Tony that he hit Drunk Guy in the head. Bobby says that it's possible that the guy could have made it out even with a head wound. "You're a captain," says Tony to Paulie. "What do you want to do?" Paulie says they should go home. "All right," replies Tony. "But let's be clear on this right now. If this cocksucker crawls out from under a rock, he's your problem, not mine. You deal with Slava. You take the heat. You pay the price. Capisce?"

As they cruise the back roads towards the Turnpike, everyone in the car is silent, presumably wondering the same thing I am at this point, which is: "It's 9:59. Shouldn't the episode be over by now?" Tony checks out Paulie in the rearview mirror, and then points out a smear of mayonnaise on his face. Paulie wipes it away just like the sullen little boy that he is, and I half expect Christopher to pipe up with "are we there yet?" Oh, the stories I could tell about me and my sister in the back seat. Mom doesn't fly well, so we've taken some doozies of vacations in that car. Finally, to the lilting strains of opera music, the car drives off into the sunset. Or sunrise, as the case may be.

Sopranos

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