And now for the scene that's stirred up almost as much debate in our forums as the whole "Chasidic Homeboy" slur. Although I do take a somewhat perverse measure of pride in noting that The Sopranos forums now sport the most inane thread on the site not started by an employee of Scoopme.com. Anyway, Paulie and Christopher are at some gas station somewhere, and Paulie is (against all laws of common sense and the state of New Jersey) pumping his own gas. Christopher suggests heading over to [crappy fast-food chain name deleted] because he's hungry, but Paulie wants to bring Drunk Guy down to the eponymous Pine Barrens and dump the body. They'll even be able to head over to Atlantic City when they're done. That way, "the day won't be a total loss."
Back to therapy. Tony is alone this time, and props to the costume people who are very subtly changing Melfi's outfits depending on the scene. When she was with Tony and Carmela she had on the standard power suit, but now with just Tony, she's in a much softer blue sweater and pants. She also strikes a more flirtatious pose, as she's been wont to do when they're alone lately. She inquires about Carmela, and Tony again credits the therapy with the improvement in their relationship. Then he breaks down, and admits that he's been seeing one of Melfi's patients. Melfi isn't sure whether to act relieved or surprised that he's finally confessed. Tony lists off all of Gloria's good qualities, but when he mentions that she's Italian, the Richard Detector in Melfi's head goes off and she snarks, "What is this, West Side Story?" When she goes on to ask if Tony attaches any particular significance to having met Gloria in therapy, he volleys back, "Maybe she reminds me of you smart, sexy, Italian. Actually, she's nothing like you." Insert patented bad-boy smile. "Well, maybe a little. You've both got great legs." I overcome my shock that he didn't say "great knees," and notice that Melfi looks simultaneously pleased as punch and annoyed as hell by his flirting. "The point is, she makes me feel happy," Tony explains, but now Melfi wonders if lying to Carmela is the best thing for his panic attacks, especially since their whole marriage is now "predicated on a lie." "Predicated on my ass, what's the difference? The bottom line is that I'm a better husband and a better father. If you want to know the truth, as much as I love my wife, being with Gloria makes me happier than all your Prozac and your therapy bullshit combined." Melfi's got nothing to say to that one.