Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A- | 1108 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Pine Barrens

Down in the wilds of South Jersey, Paulie and Christopher cruise along some snowy back roads before ending up deep in the forest. They park at a little picnic roundabout, and Chris heads back to open the trunk. Except that when he does, Drunk Guy turns out to still be alive, and pretty upset about the whole being-locked-in-a-trunk thing. Paulie giggles and hassles him some more, which results in a torrent of profanity that's extreme even by Sopranos standards. While Paulie holds a gun to Drunk Guy's head, Christopher digs in the trunk for a shovel. Then we fade to a Fargo-esque shot of snow falling on cedars as they make their way through the woods. Actually, it's really nothing like Fargo at all, but with Buscemi in the chair, the comparison just seems to come naturally. ["It's actually a dead ringer for a scene in Miller's Crossing, another Coen Brothers movie that Buscemi also appeared in, albeit briefly." -- Sars] Paulie teases Drunk Guy about being stuck out in the woods in his pajamas (like that's really the worst of his problems at this point), and when they finally pick a spot, he rips off the tape binding Drunk Guy's hands. He hands over the shovel and commands DG to start digging, and to use some "of that Siberian action," because the ground is hard. DG swears a bit more in Russian, claiming that the cold doesn't bother him, because he "washes [his] balls in ice water." Heh. Maybe the Russian kid Furio kicked should try that. As Drunk Guy digs, Paulie explains that they "didn't come to your house to kill you. That mouth of yours…you gotta learn to shut the fuck up." After eleven episodes, I am completely and totally out of pot/kettle jokes, so you'll just have to make up your own here. Although, given what happens later on in this episode, I'm mildly surprised he doesn't pull off a shoe, bang it vehemently on the nearest tree, and exclaim, "We will bury you!" Although I suppose if he did, it'd mean that he'd probably also be able to tell the difference between Chechnya and Czechoslovakia. He'd still invade them both, though. Anyway, Drunk Guy makes a few feeble stabs at digging, and then suddenly whacks both Paulie and Christopher with the shovel (including a nasty blow to Chris's forehead) and takes off into the woods. The boys slowly climb back to their feet and give chase, firing their guns all the while. This is no knock on Stevie, but just once I'd like to see a chase through the woods where the director doesn't rely on quick cuts with varying depth of field every time the characters pass a tree. Paulie finally gets off one last shot, and with a spray of blood shooting off of his head, Drunk Guy goes down like a French prizefighter. Not a Russian prizefighter, mind you, because Ivan Drago could have wiped the floor with these two losers. Paulie and Chris speculate over whether or not they got him, but when they check the area, the body is gone. Chris has got a HUGE welt on his forehead. They follow DG's bloody tracks for a few yards, but then the footprints stop, and they can't find him anywhere. As they walk off to search, Buscemi cuts to a high-angle shot looking down the trunk of a tree at them. I too thought that meant Drunk Guy had climbed the tree, but further review indicates that there's no branches he could have used for purchase. I honestly have no idea how he managed to disappear.

Sopranos

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