Pine Barrens

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Pine Barrens

Columbia. Meadow lies in bed studying when Jackie Jr. calls. She asks when he's coming over, to which Little Lord Fuckpants replies with the excuse that he has to get his mother's car inspected. At night. He primps in the mirror as he blows her off, and Meadow definitely gets the sense that there's something rotten in the state of New Jersey. And it ain't the medical waste. She hangs up and studies the Scrabble board once again, seeing such high-scorers as the ever popular "the" and the only slightly less popular "poo" and "ass." You can say what you want about our declining semantic skills leading to the fall of civilization, but for my money, it's the fact that "ass" returned almost FIVE MILLION hits on Google that's scary.

Night. Woods. Paulie. Christopher. They're still hobbling through the snow, with Paulie worried that he could lose his foot to frostbite. "How can we be lost like this? We're in Jersey," he whines, echoing every single thought that went through my head while watching The Blair Witch Project. "South Jersey," clarifies Christopher, and while I've already admitted that I don't know this for sure, I guess that makes all the difference. Chris (who still hasn't eaten all day) suggests that they nibble on some berries, but Paulie replies that "shit like that could be poisonous. You don't know." Yeah, but if anybody would know, it's Paulie. Or maybe Keith Famie. Although, to be honest, I wouldn't want to be stranded with either of them. Paulie spots an abandoned van, and they run towards it. I try in vain not to spot the footprints already in the snow from a previous take. Also, the first time I watched this episode, I spent the whole time wondering why they didn't just hot-wire the van and drive out. This time through, however, I hear Christopher point out that the back wheels are missing, so I guess that answers that question. They hurriedly climb inside and start trying to warm themselves. Paulie searches for something to cover his foot, and ends up wrapping it in a dirty rag. Christopher checks the mirror, noticing the huge smear of blood on his forehead, and commenting that "this guy really brained me." He's also worried that Valery might still be alive. "He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. He's trained for this shit. That's like Die Hard shit."

Ronald Reagan: Wow, that is one nasty bruise the kid has there. But on the other hand, it does remind me of I what like best about Mikhail here.
David Chase: What's that?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP