Pine Barrens

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Pine Barrens

Okay, so a few weeks ago I suggested that David Chase might be speed-writing episodes based on what he reads here at Marx-Brezhnev TV, but now I know it for a fact. Think about it. Someone slams Silvio on the forums, and he vanishes for the entire episode. I make cracks about robes, free shoes, and free meat, and here they are, ALL IN THE SAME SCENE. I've already discussed the Drunk Guy incident, so I'm left to wonder, just what the heck is going on here? Am I psychic or just lucky? Do David Chase and I share some sort of meaty, robe-related bond? Is Aaron the Narcoleptic Doppelganger the personification of our role in shaping the show? Or am I just thinking way to much about all this? You decide. Although if they were reading MBTV, it would explain why Cerbone hasn't taken his shirt off yet. The guy is clearly a functional illiterate, so he probably just can't read what the forums are telling him. Maybe you guys should try "Show us your ass." At least we know he knows that one.

Meadow and her dorm-mate are staked out in front of Little Lord Fuckpants's place, waiting for him to come out. Meadow knows he's cheating on her, because she "could hear it in his voice," and the friend describes the car inspection story as bullshit. "But what if he's not?" backtracks Meadow. "Doing this would make me even worse than him."

Junior's Joint. Tony comes in and apologizes for waking Junior, who doesn't mind, since the chemo keeps him up all night anyway. He offers Tony some tea, and mentions that Bobby Bacala is on his way over. Then he asks, "Have you been eating steak?" Heh. Tony grumpily grabs a bottle of Scotch from under the sink, but all that changes when Bobby walks in, attired in camouflage hunting gear and a bright orange vest. His hat even has earflaps. Tony loses it, and cracks up laughing hysterically, and we pan to Junior, shaking his head at his uncouth nephew. "Fuck this shit," snarls Bobby in probably the strongest statement he's ever made, but Junior orders him to go with Tony and do as he's told. As Tony walks off to borrow a non-meat-coated shirt, he giggles some more, prompting Bobby to sigh, "I've got my limits too, you know."

Back at the Fuckpants Pad. The lights go out, and Car Friend warns Meadow to be strong as they wait for LLFP to emerge. He does, with some blonde ho in tow, and Meadow gets out of the car to bust them. They stare at each other for a moment, and then she cries, "Don't ever call me again," before jumping right back into the car and screeching away. Jackie looks freaked out as she goes, but the ho loves it, screaming, "Yeah, you better leave, bitch." "What the fuck is the matter with you," replies Jackie, "that's Tony Soprano's daughter." Oh, I don't think it's the ho who's gonna be in trouble after that little scene. Little Lord Fuckpants is more than a little fucked now.

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