Proshai, Livushka

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Public Enemy No. 1

Out back, Tony tears into them for the whole garbage bombing thing. Joey Pants tries to explain that his crew is in line for a garbage contract, but Tony interrupts to remind him that it's not his crew, and he'll "be a captain when [Tony] says he's a captain." Pants snarks back, "And I'll be sure to turn up my hearing aid, so I don't miss it." Joe, man, I love your work, but the hair…what is up with the hair? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the Livia-bot. Joe explains that the county supervisor has been threatening to go to the EPA and bust them, and Tony orders them to fix the situation, but with "No. More. Fires." Cut back to the FBI van, where the basement bug is turning up nothing but AJ calling a friend.

George Lucas: I can try and fix that hair with the computers, you know.
David Chase: That's okay. I kinda like it.
George Lucas: If you want, we could even give him horns, or maybe a couple of big tentacles or something. Ooh, and how about a cute little pet dinosaur for AJ?
David Chase: Step away from the script there, buddy. You got your own franchise to ruin.

Tony and his sisters arrive at the funeral home in an ancient, gated elevator. A friendly, yet vaguely sinister mortician greets them. He pledges to "use all his powers," but Tony says that Livia didn't want a service. Janice finds that hard to accept, and the bickering begins. They argue over whether or not to have a service, and the girls convince Tony to have not only a funeral, but also a wake at his house afterwards. He tells the creepy mortician guy to arrange everything and send him the bill. As they walk out, Janice is gushing about all the things she'll do for the funeral, including a painting featuring "motifs from the Mexican Day of the Dead festival." Tony nods indulgently, until she suggests that everyone share a "remembrance" at the wake. He tells her he doesn't want any of that "California bullshit." I hope the power doesn't go out at his house.

Melfi's office. Silence. Tony asks, "No 'I'm sorry'? No condolences? No 'It's not TV, it's HBO'?" When she doesn't answer, Tony admits that he wanted his mom dead, and was relieved when he heard the news. Melfi quizzes him about his relationship with his mother, and Tony is afraid that he's a bad son. "That's a miserable fucking thing to be, a bad son. They should all fucking die." Gandolfini is rocking this scene. He takes a quiet beat, and then says that he had no reason to be a good son, but he doesn't like to admit it. He defends Livia, and Melfi calls him on it. She explains that grown children often wish that their elderly parents would die. Aww, now I gotta call Mom again. It's not true, Mom. Well, most of the time it isn't. Tony looks hopeful. "So we're done here, right? She's dead."

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