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Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
These Boobs Were Made For Whacking

The next day, Adriana meets with Agent Not Called Not Mare Anymore, who is not interested in Adriana's obvious depression. She's all business, asking about the guest lists at Carmine's funeral and Steve Buscemi's homecoming, but Adriana feels their relationship lacks the personal touch, and starts asking her handler if she's got any kids. Agent Not Needing A Backstory But Getting One Anyway explains that she was married to a fellow agent, who eventually dumped her for a big raise and a posting to Los Angeles. Whatever. It's probably a lie anyway. It's still not enough for Adriana, however, who feels that she can't talk to the FBI, her friends, or even Christopher anymore, and he's "supposed to be [her] soulmate." And there's that word again. "What do I get out of it?" she wonders, perhaps fishing to find out if the FBI has any kind of a fur coat reward program. "Maybe take some comfort in the fact that you're trying to do the right thing by helping your government," answers Agent Not Even Showing A Trace Of Irony. "No, seriously," answers Adriana. Heh. This launches Agent Not Interested In This Scene At All into another long story about her past, this one featuring an ex-boyfriend of her sister who sold guns to high-school kids, and also tried to open a coconut with a pistol and ended up paralyzing the sister. Oy. I really hope that one is a lie, because it's just too sappy otherwise. "I knew I had to do something about guys like him," continues Agent She Cannot Be Serious, "and nowhere but the FBI is the line clearer between the good guys and the bad guys." Uh huh. And when J. Edgar was in charge, how clear was the line between the good guys, the bad guys, and the guys who liked to wear pretty pink dresses?

Satriale's. Paulie, Silvio, and Wide Guy are playing cards in the back room, which gives me an opportunity to mention that I really can't enjoy those new "Why Can't We Be Friends?" HBO promos, because I'm probably one of the few people on the planet who knows exactly where each and every shot came from. Like when Christopher is playing cards with David, Keith, and Brother Justin, and David's cards are actually a stack of napkins and Justin's cards are that stupid leather purse he was making in the insane asylum. They should have just stuck with the party-scene one. Anyway, Steve Buscemi shows up, and he's carrying his massage table. He props it up against the wall, and asks to be dealt into the game. Paulie teases him about not having the money play, which prompts Steve to look at Paulie's hair and ask if he needs to let it dry before putting on a second coat. Then he calls him "Grandpa Munster," which isn't quite as good as Christopher's crack about the "wings," but is still pretty close. Everyone is laughing and having a good time, and then Silvio asks about the massage table.

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