Sopranos
Rat Pack

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These Boobs Were Made For Whacking

Maison de Soprano. It's movie night minus the movies, which basically just means that the ladies are sitting around getting drunk. Carmela promises to get the components back as soon as possible, even though everyone is happy that they don't have to sit through Casablanca again anyway. "What's next on that list?" Carmela asks. "Number three," answers Janice. "The Godfather." Hee! Awkward silence ensues.

Outside, Adriana and Rosalie are sneaking a smoke break. They chat about the bear problems, and Adriana takes this opportunity to ask a question that there's no way she wouldn't have asked at least three years ago (or, at the very least, after her conversation with Agent Not Suspending My Disbelief At The Moment from last season): "So how come Angie Bonpensiero don't come to these things?" Sigh. And just when I thought I would never have to type "Bonpensiero" again, they pull me back in. Rosalie explains that Angie isn't welcome, because her husband was a rat. "What kind of person does that?" she adds, staring at precisely the kind of person who does that. "I mean, it's like Judas or something. Eating that last supper with Jesus, and the whole time he knows they're going to crucify him. I mean, at least Judas didn't go into any Apostle Protection Program." Insert your Passion joke here. I can't be bothered. It is, however, interesting to note that Adriana is the one who really knows the truth about Pussy (and Joey Pants, for that matter), whereas Rosalie, who is ordinarily the grand dame of the group, remains clueless. Willfully clueless, most likely, but clueless nevertheless. They head back inside.

Cut to Tony, who has taken up residence in Livia's old house. Oy. That's a whole episode with Melfi right there. He's very, very drunk at the moment, and rapidly getting drunker. He grabs the Rat Pack painting Masserone gave him, and props it up on the mantel for further study. In addition to his impressive slurring capabilities, James Gandolfini also plays drunk like a pro. If they ever make Arthur 3 (and if possible, I'd be willing to pay someone so that they don't), he'd be the perfect replacement for Dudley Moore.

Back to movie night. Carmela has reached the "I love you all soooooooo much" stage of drunkenness, but the big group lovefest (I guess you can't call it a circle jerk when they're all women) is interrupted when Adriana bursts into tears. "I'm not what you think," she sobs. "I need...I want to tell you all something. It's driving me crazy." Everyone is ready to listen, but Adriana takes one look at Rosalie's concerned face and realizes what she's doing. She gets up and runs out of the room, prompting all the other women to follow her out into the driveway, where she takes a major header right into the hedges. Heh. It's the oldest joke in the world, but people falling down will ALWAYS be funny. She staggers to her car, and manages to drive off without saying another word. And all the wives are left standing in the driveway, with expressions ranging from fear, to confusion, and all the up to anger. We should also, by the way, score one for the Misleading Promo department over at HBO, which made this shot of the wives out to have something to do with Tony attacking Carmela.

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Sopranos

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