Back at Junior's Joint, Bobby B gamely helps the old man puke into the toilet. They emerge from the bathroom to find Tony, and Junior blames the whole sad situation on him. "Oh, right. I gave you cancer," is Tony's stone-faced reply. Junior complains that no matter what he tries (and he's tried pretty much everything), he can't get Doctor Kennedy to return his calls. Tony digests this bit of news, and then goes to call the Doc himself. When he gets the answering machine, Bobby Bacala worms his way even deeper into my heart with yet another utterance of "What are you gonna do?" I'm starting to think that the real-life David Chase just might sound a lot like he does in these recaps. Tony leaves a very friendly, yet somehow ominous, message, and Junior makes another mad dash for the bathroom.
Meanwhile, Chris is emerging from a motel somewhere with an anonymous young hooker, who's only notable character attribute is that she drives a sparkly purple Trans-Am. Chris is about to drive off himself in his non-sparkly Range Rover when he notices Paulie pulling up behind him. He gets out and climbs into Paulie's car for a chat. "You're not even married yet, and already you're dipping into whores," says Paulie, and the Soprano-standard pronunciation of "hoor" is almost as confusing as using "gabbagoo" for "cappicola." Chris, as usual, is indignant. "What is this, some new rule about who I fuck? You want more shoes too?" Oh, please God, no. And we know God reads the recaps, so maybe He'll listen, especially if I promise to eat all my matzoh. Paulie is shockingly uninterested in the shoes, looking positively downtrodden as he sighs, "I don't know why I thought she was a size ten." Then he yells at Chris for tattling to Tony, and reaches into the backseat to pull something out. Chris slyly tries to reach his ankle holster just in case, but Paulie grabs something way better than a gun -- it 's Big Mouth Billy Bass again, and the boys just stare and laugh as he sings "YMCA." I'm sitting here (somewhere over Virginia, by the way), wondering what the hell fish have to do with the YMCA. Was there a fisherman in the Village People? Do fish have bad taste in hotels? Couldn't they get the rights to "Beyond The Sea"? Anyway, Paulie and Chris continue to giggle like schoolgirls, albeit schoolgirls with horrible taste in home decoration.