Maison de Moltisanti. Chris comes in toting a pair of stuffed-full garbage bags, and asks the immortal question, "Anyone here love the words 'Jimmy Choo shoes?'" I sincerely hope Adriana does, because I certainly don't. I don't even know who Jimmy Choo is. But it's again with the shoes, people. What's up with that? Maybe they're preparing "The Shoepranos" as a substitute in case Chase really does throw in the towel after four seasons. Adriana tries a pair on and is horrified to discover that they're all size ten. "That's Sasquatch size," she tells Christopher, before revealing that she wears an eight-and-a-half. I don't know anymore about women's shoes than Christopher does, but isn't that kind of big too? Something tells me I'll be feeling one of Sars's size nines on my butt for that one. Adriana crawls over to Christopher, telling him how thrilled she is with all the cool stuff they've been getting since he got made. Christopher, on the other hand, is still aggravated with Paulie, and "the Coup DeVille he rode in on." She climbs onto his lap and plants a kiss on him, saying "I love you, baby." "You better," he replies once again, and I'm left to wonder whether that's Artie Bucco foreshadowing, or if David Chase just likes repeating phrases as much as I do.
Das Sopranohaus. Tony wanders in to find Carmela sitting alone at the dinner table. "Everything is cold," she snots, but Tony keeps a cheerful demeanor. "That's why they invented microwaves, for inconsiderate husbands." Carmela bitches about how it would be nice for them to eat together with everyone out of the house, and I guess AJ did go on the Washington trip after all. What with this and the new Joe Isuzu spots, can a syndicated re-airing of Empty Nest be too far behind? Tony goes on and on about how delicious the food is, and I think it's worth noting that he has no real reason to be sucking up to her at this point, so he's probably being sincere. He sits at the table with her, and Carmela mentions that she's having lunch with the Dean (dead!) of Columbia. When Tony snarks that all the guy wants is their money, Carmela claims it's a good investment, so that Meadow can "pass [them] by." "She did that when she was fourteen," replies Tony, and if that's the case, these two are even dumber than I thought, because Meadow at fourteen must have been a hundred times worse than the Meadow of today. Besides, Tony wants his kids to grow up "ignorant, backward, and [sitting] around with their thumbs up their ass." Sounds like my mom again. Carmela now changes the subject to Angie (Bonpensiero, not Dickinson, which is a shame), and Tony asks how's she and "that fluffy, French Coco piece of shit" are doing. He repeats his claim that Pussy is in witness protection, suggesting that Angie search for him by staking out "all the [brand name deleted] in Arizona. He loves their wings." Cha-ching. Tony, who truly seems to believe his own lie at this point, goes on to rant about how "the FBI-family-values-loving-cocksuckers" are to blame here, before stating emphatically that he never wants to hear "about [Pussy] or his [expletive deleted] wife again."