Sopranos
Second Opinion

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Answer: Life, the universe, and everything

Cut to Christopher and Tony, standing in a garage somewhere. Chris complains about the harassment from Paulie, but Tony is unsympathetic. He even goes so far as to make a gesture with his pinky to suggest the results of Christopher's strip search, and unlike his hand gestures from previous recaps, I'll just say that I don't identify with this one, and you can read my Bible recap for proof. Also, don't you think JFK would have made a much better pitchman for Viagra than Bob Dole? I mean, come on (pun so not intended on that one). Anyway, when Tony learns of the panty-sniffing incident, he's a bit taken aback. "Sometimes Paulie can be a little…quirky," he says. Amen to that. But it's a funny quirky, as opposed to a creepy quirky, so it's okay. Kinda like me. Tony informs Chris that he's moving up fast for a guy his age (which is not at all like me), so he needs to suck it up. Wow, I've been talking about myself a lot this week. This recap is turning into auto-hagiography, and I'm not even Canadian.

Over at the hospital, the tumor board is in full swing. There's lots of medical mumbo-jumbo, but when Doc Kennedy learns that Robodoc has gotten involved, he quickly agrees to go with chemo instead of surgery. Cut to Junior's Joint, where Bobby Bacala takes the news over the phone, and then to Junior, getting the actual treatment and whining for Doctor K.

Meanwhile, outside the Bing, Tony and Paulie are walking to their cars. Paulie complains that Tony is too easy on Christopher, but says he also understands having a soft spot for family. Tony tells him that he was out of line with the panty-sniffing because Christopher is planning to marry Adriana. Paulie refuses to apologize, but does promise that "as of the wedding day, anything that touches her pussy is off-limits." I think they should print that on the invitations. Also, does anyone else think we might be getting a Christopher/Adriana wedding to face off against Monica and Chandler during sweeps?

Back at Junior's Joint, Bobby B gamely helps the old man puke into the toilet. They emerge from the bathroom to find Tony, and Junior blames the whole sad situation on him. "Oh, right. I gave you cancer," is Tony's stone-faced reply. Junior complains that no matter what he tries (and he's tried pretty much everything), he can't get Doctor Kennedy to return his calls. Tony digests this bit of news, and then goes to call the Doc himself. When he gets the answering machine, Bobby Bacala worms his way even deeper into my heart with yet another utterance of "What are you gonna do?" I'm starting to think that the real-life David Chase just might sound a lot like he does in these recaps. Tony leaves a very friendly, yet somehow ominous, message, and Junior makes another mad dash for the bathroom.

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Sopranos

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