Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | 590 USERS: C+
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She Ain't The Cheatin' Kind

Elsewhere, Carmela has come to church for confession. She enters the vestibule, and does the whole "Bless me Father, for I have sinned" bit. Father Tool Time apparently recognizes her voice, because he greets her by name, which I'm told is a great big Catholic no no. ["Indeed, it's totally inappropriate, but we should expect nothing less from him, really." -- Wing Chun] Carmela comes right out and confesses to the sex. Rin Tin Tin is silent while stewing in his own juices. Carmela, meanwhile, is remorseful, but also "walking around on a cloud, like Maria in West Side Story. Then she asks him if he's ever heard of Abelard & Eloise. "I think it's Abelard & HEloise," he corrects, "and from what I remember, it ends badly." She totally doesn't care about that part, though. "Something in me has been reawakened," she gushes, "and even if it never happens again with this man, just knowing that feeling of passion again, I don't know if it's ever going to go away. I'll need it." In other words, Carmela had an orgasm. Woohoo! Intintoola snits that he can't absolve Carmela if she continues to commit this sin, and demands that she show some restraint. Or, failing that, at least throw some lack of restraint in his direction. "So this man takes you to restaurants," gripes Tool. "He fulfills certain physical desires, tells jokes, but will he be there beyond the here and now? When you're too old to walk to the bathroom, will he help you?" And that's relevant to Carmela's horniness how, exactly? ["Plus, as if Tony would help her to the can. For one thing, by the time Carmela's too old to walk to the bathroom, Tony will be long dead of congestive heart failure." -- Wing Chun] Intintoola orders Carmela to perform penance by doing something nice for Tony. The hell? Can he do that? I thought penance was all Hail Marys and Our Fathers and naked altar boys and stuff. Oy. I'm gonna get a lot of email this week.

The massage ghageh.

Sopranos

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