Carmela, on the other hand, is taking an entirely different sort of beating. A looove beating, if you know what I mean, and I kind of hope that you don't. She and Counselor Bob are back in his bedroom, making out with all their clothes still on. And I have to admit, Bob does seem like a dry-humping kind of guy. Carmela soon puts a stop to things, however, because she's all obsessed about AJ and the paper he purchased. Bob tries to assure her that it's a very common occurrence, and that what matters is that she took a stand, instead of just letting it slide. Which, for the record, we never actually saw her do. "It's just the cheating," she sighs, as Bob's bed morphs into a ten billion thread-count anvil. "It's not like him." "He's always done his work," she continues. "Poorly a lot of the time, and late, but he always did it." Shout-out? Bob -- who would say just about anything at this point to get back into the woman's pants -- insists that there's nothing to worry about, because he was also a "late bloomer" who got into Union College because they said he had potential, even if he wasn't mature enough yet. And then he starts licking Carmela's spine. Seriously. I'm not making that up. Carm can't let it go, though. "I mean, how hopeless would you feel if you really worked on something and still got a D?" I don't know. Why don't we ask Mike Binder? That's the only D I've ever given out here. ["Having seen that show (once), I have to say I don't know how hard he ever worked on it." -- Wing Chun]
Bob and Carmela both fall back onto the bed and start fooling around again. And then Carmela puts a stop to it again, and sits right back up. "I'm sorry," she says. "I can't right now. I'm too upset. And also? You look like an idiot with your socks still on." She heads into the living room and starts pulling on her coat, and then the Catholic guilt starts pouring right out of her. "What kind of mother am I?" she asks. "I mean, look at us. Do you realize that under the laws of the Church, I am still married?" Bob is utterly incredulous, although I do think it's somewhat amusing that David Strathairn isn't anywhere near as good as Robert Iler at doing the awkward-erection walk. I guess there are some things they just don't teach in acting class. Bob pleads with Carmela to stay, but she runs out into the rain anyway, and then drives off to go do penance with the naked altar boys. Or something like that.
Morning. The boys drop Diet Tony off at work, and it's obvious that they’ve been up all night partying. Chris tries to convince him to blow off work and join them for breakfast, and Paulie offers even more temptation by announcing that he plans to "mang, and then hit the sack for the next fourteen hours." Which is precisely what I'll be doing as soon as I finish this recap. Mmmm, mang. Once they drive off, Diet Tony staggers into the dry-cleaning plant, still wearing his shiny gold suit.