Soprano Home Movies

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Soprano Home Movies

Carmela starts rubbing her shoulder again. Janice apologizes for being hyper, and blames it on her estrogen pills. Carmela blames their hangovers. They both sit down, the tension broken momentarily as they chuckle about the story Janice told about Uncle Jun's goomar and the beehive hairdo. Carmela calls the story "worth the price of admission." Janice checks her watch, clearly worried about her husband. She sighs a few times and then says that she once had a boyfriend who hit her, and that she "completely exploded." If by boyfriend, you mean Richie Aprile and by "exploded," you mean "shot him to death." Janice thinks she's more like her dad, and Tony's not, although she admits that Tony has a temper too. Janice goes back to talking about Richie, and how he "went his separate way." Yeah, his right arm went one way and, thanks to Christopher and Furio, his left went another. Janice doesn't know that Carm knows Richie's ultimate fate, though. Janice keeps babbling about her family, and Carmela finally calls her on her "verbal diarrhea" and asks what Janice wants to say about Tony. Janice plays innocent, and Carm claims that Tony has never raised his hand to the children or her. Well, that's not exactly true. Carmela admits that Tony slapped AJ once and felt horrible about it for days. Janice is silent, so Carmela presses on in defending her man, claiming that Bobby took advantage of a drunken Tony, and that there was no excuse for it. Carmela stands and delivers the least truthful line of that whole diatribe: "Tony is not a vindictive man." Janice looks out at the water, worried.

Tony and Bobby meet with two French-Canadian gentlemen in a bar. They want to sell the Americans some expired osteoporosis medication. Bobby tries to negotiate, and one of the Canadians says that his sister is having a problem with her ex-husband and a custody dispute. He would love for the ex-husband to be gone. Tony promises that they can make the problem go away for a lowered price on the pills. He also promises that the killer will be "somebody reliable." When the Canadians walk away to talk it over, Tony asks Bobby if he'll take care of it. Well, he doesn't really ask him. You know how Tony is. Not vindictive, though! Bobby knows he's fucked, so he agrees, but he kind of looks like he wants to throw up.

On the way home, Bobby is still looking sick while Tony is joyously honking his horn at a girl waterskiing in a bikini. They pull up at the house, and Janice rushes out to hug her husband, Carmela close behind. Tony claims that he won the golf game, and suggests that he and Carmela take off. As they walk off to get their things, Janice congratulates Bobby on letting Tony win at golf. Bobby doesn't correct her.

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