Soprano Home Movies

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Soprano Home Movies

Some time (and many bottles of liquor) later, the two couples are playing Monopoly. That game is way too complicated for drunken people. I can barely handle Go Fish after a few beers. Tony gets a card telling him to pay $100, and he tosses a bill in the middle of the board. Bobby is all confused, and Carmela explains that they play by the rules where all Community Chest and Chance fees go into the middle, and then when someone lands on Free Parking, that person gets all the money. I play by those rules, too. Bobby is upset that the Sopranos just make up their own rules instead of playing by the predetermined written rulebook. Gee, do you think there's a metaphor there? Tony, Janice, and Carmela don't see what the problem is. My favorite line is when Bobby says, "You know, the Parker Brothers took the time to think this all out. I think we should respect that." Janice: "Fuck the Parker Brothers. Just play the game." Bobby proposes to smooth over the situation with more booze.

Later, the game is still going, and everyone is more drunk. Janice busts Tony stealing money from the bank. Oh, my brother ALWAYS used to steal money from the bank. So annoying! ["Seriously, cheating is the only way to win at Monopoly. That shit is ENDLESS." -- Wing Chun] Bobby's still bitching about the Free Parking rule, and Tony mocks him. Carmela rubs her neck like it's sore, which didn't seem important at the time, but might later. Nica runs into the room giggling, and the nanny explains that Nica wanted to say good night. Janice offers Nica candy to go to bed, which seems like a bad idea on many levels, which Bobby points out. Janice doesn't understand the difference between a bribe and positive reinforcement. One happens before the act and one happens after? Hey, I'm not a parent, but I do have a dog, and positive reinforcement works pretty well on him, although bribes don't. Tony thinks it looked like a bribe, and Janice tells him, "You know what, Uncle Tony? Butt the fuck out." After Nica and the nanny leave, Tony suggests that he could videotape Janice and submit it to a parenting magazine, much as Janice taped Tony and Barb fighting when they were kids, and then used it to blackmail them for a month. Janice denies it, and Carmela spills the beans that Janice fed Tony a dog treat. Tony starts getting mad, so Janice has to push it by telling a story about their parents. Tony orders her to shut it, but Carmela urges Janice to tell the story. Janice explains that their parents were driving home from a night out with Uncle Jun and his goomar, Rosemary. Apparently, Rosemary was nagging and yapping away, so Johnny shot a bullet "right through [Rosemary's] beehive hairdo." Carmela guffaws, Bobby chuckles, and Tony gets pissed off, "because it makes [them] look like a fucking dysfunctional family." That's what he thinks makes them look dysfunctional? Okay, then. Tony orders Carm, who is rubbing her shoulder again, not to tell their kids. Carmela asks if Rosemary had powder burns in her hair, and Janice says that she had a bob the next day.

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