Paulie enters a convent to visit his dying aunt, a nun, who has been asking for him. Aunt Dottie is lying on a bed, wearing a nightgown, and her legs are exposed. Paulie is disturbed by the image, and tries to cover his aunt up, but she protests that she's burning up. Paulie kind of ignores the fact that his aunt seems distressed, and shows her the new scuba diver socks he bought for her, which explains the opening scene. Aunt Dottie fingers her rosary and says that she needs to tell him something. Paulie grabs a nearby nun to replace his aunt's shoes. Aunt Dottie pulls Paulie closer and confesses that she was a bad girl. Paulie brushes her concerns aside, but Aunt Dottie continues talking about how, as a young girl, she helped out at the USO and was seduced by a soldier named Russ. Paulie suggests that she talk to a priest. Aunt Dottie busts out, "I got pregnant! I had a baby!" The other nun looks shocked, and Paulie thinks Aunt Dottie is...well, dotty. Aunt Dottie insists that she did have a baby, and that the baby was Paulie. He's her son. Paulie is silent, for once. Aunt Dottie says that the woman Paulie thought was his mother is actually his aunt. Man, you thought Paulie had Mommy issues before!
Tony dozes in his room. An attractive woman enters and asks how he's doing as she starts consulting his chart. Tony wonders where this woman has been, since his other doctors are like "the United Colors of Benetton." Like the Jimmy Hoffa joke, I wonder how many people under twenty-five even get what that means. ["Also, would that be a pop-culture reference Tony would get? I don't picture him doing much reading of Seventeen in the early '90s." -- Wing Chun] The woman says that she's actually there representing Tony's insurance company, and will help the doctors to figure out how soon they can let Tony go home. She sees that Tony's incision is closed, and that they removed his catheter. Tony realizes that she wants to kick him out, and protests that his bowels aren't even working yet. The woman chides Tony for eating a sausage sandwich a few days ago. Tony can't believe that he's paid all these years only to be put on the street. The woman points out that, without insurance, Tony would have been at the county hospital. She refers to a "wallet biopsy" that happened in the ambulance, where they found Tony's insurance card. That is, like, the lamest piece of corporate-speak ever. And I work in the educational field, which is rife with the buzzwords. Ask me about using data-driven dialogue as an assessment of lifelong learning. Or don't. Tony tells her, "Get out of my room, you sick cunt." And while I don't usually agree with Tony's view of women, I think he nailed that one. Well, not nailed. Although he'd probably like to do that too, if only Jesus approved of Viagra.