Funeral, wake, what have you. Tom Sr. in a bad toupee in an open casket. Carmela is consoling Aunt Barbara in her nauseating "we're here for you" good-Catholic-woman way. Meadow and AJ are so not happy to be there and they stare at Livia, who is flanked by Richie and Janice while she wails and flails her rosary beads about. Tony says Va fa cul' a tu under his breath, and Carmela the matriarch reminds him that they were bound to see them at some function, so just relax. "Fuckin' Bette Davis back there," Tony gripes. Hee. Carmela hisses, "No scenes." Tony looks back at Livia, Janice, and Richie and gets up abruptly, telling the kids they're leaving. AJ sighs, "Thank God." Hee. Carmela grabs fierce hold of Tony with her French-tipped talons, telling him she'll kill him. "We paid our respects, now we're leaving," Tony insists. "This may come as a surprise to you but these people are not here to see the Sopranos kill each other. Now show some respect for Tom's father, will you please?" Carmela whispers at him. Richie comes over and kisses Carmela on the cheek, and he and Tony go over to Tom Junior and give him their "boost": this is money (always cash) given to the family, which is done at all Italian funerals and weddings, not just connected ones.
Tony and Richie step into an adjoining room. Tony lights up a cigar, and Richie comments on the decor and what a great racket funerals are. Then he decides it's a good idea to tell Tony not to smoke in there. Nice one. Tony asks who's going to complain, the stiffs? He gestures towards another body in a casket. "Hey, you mind? He don't mind," Tony says. Tony always looks so spooky surrounded by smoke. Richie apologizes for blowing up at Tony's game. Tony reminds him that he was out of line, and that he needs to "back off and respect the title." Meaning, I'm the boss, and don't you forget that. Richie attempts ass-kissing and says Tony's in charge, he makes the rules. Tony hulks over Richie like Frankenstein and says, "No, no. I don't make 'em. They've always been there. Now you get this, Davey Scatino doesn't pay you a fucking penny until I get mine first. That's the tax you get for raising your hands at my game. I get mine first, then you get yours. That's the way it's gonna be. I don't do something, how's it gonna look?" Richie closes his eyes and inhales in disbelief. Tony goes back out to the main room and sits next to Carmela, a picture of piety, sucking in her cheeks and opening her eyes widely with attentiveness as usual. Father-son-holy-ghosting, and Tony looks menacingly at Livia, who is kissing her cross. Funeral service, et cetera.