Meadow and Eric slither over to their dads. Meadow looks stoned. Actually, she always has that sleepy-eyed stoned look. It must be the heavy eye make-up. Eric asks his dad for twenty bucks. The dads play dad as they groan over their kids' ungratefulness. "What, did you think he was coming over here to say gee dad, thanks for taking the time to come to this important event?" Meadow sniggers as she and Tony snuggle. Blech. Tony asks how Eric's doing. In my opinion, not good. He looks like a lemon-colored leftover from The Wonder Years or the evil twin of Eric Forman on That 70s Show. Ew. Davey, mouth full, tells him he should eat. Eric informs him that he and Meadow are going to Starbucks. Somehow he makes it sound like an extremely repellent place. Tony inquires after his college plans, asking if he's planning to go to Brown. Eric says it's a good school in such a blasé way I get the urge to slap him, and then he laments over the "starfucking" that goes on there. I think you'd fuck some stars if you got the chance, Eric, if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge. Davey calls him a "Latrine Lip," which sends me into giggly convulsions, and indicates Meadow, as if to say "there's a lady present." Yeah, some lady. "He's right," Miss Meadow chimes in, and pushes away Tony's arm, which I assume was trying to cover her ears from the profanity of men. Let's just assume that. It looks weird, like he was harassing her or something. "This jamoke will still go wherever his mother tells him, he's no different than his old man," Davey says. "You too?" Artie yelps, because he thinks he's found someone as whipped as himself. Tony bemoans the evolution of his friends, telling the kids that in high school Artie and Davey were like Joe Namath and Y.A. Tittle, and now they're like Phil Donahue and Alan Alda. Artie looks very sheepish. Yes, he means you, Artie; Charmaine has your balls in a vice. Of course, you'd look sheepish too if someone called you Phil Donahue. Or Tittle, for that matter.
Episode Report CardMiss Parker: B | 476 USERS: C+
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