Sopranos
The Happy Wanderer

Episode Report Card
Miss Parker: B- | 33 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Forty-five boxes of ziti

Richie shouts, "I shut him the fuck down, he comes here, and he sticks it up my ass!" as he leaves the building, Tony hot on his heels. Tony's only concern is the fact that Richie so blatantly disrespected his game. Richie treads on thin ice by growling that everyone's sick of Tony's "holier-than-thou act." Tony tells him then people should make a move. Richie tells him to stop being dramatic -- he just acts like he's in a different business sometimes, and he should send Davey out there so Richie can basically kick the shit out of him for not paying up. "Send him out here so I can get my money," he says. Tony refuses, so Richie explains further that Davey owes him over eight large. I think that means over $8,000, so Richie's saying he shouldn't have the money to play in this game if he doesn't have the money to pay him back. Tony tells him to go home, this isn't going to happen to one of his players. Richie stares him in the eye with ferocity and walks away, but hocks a lugey while he does so. Ugh. He's cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Inside, Davey is splashing water on his face. When Tony comes back in, he says to him, "Wow, he was pissed." This guy doesn't understand a damn thing, I tell you. Tony proceeds to reality-check him by reminding him he has one day to get him his forty-five grand. Davey's all no problem, and changes the topic to Silvio. Tony tells him to shut the fuck up, finally. Davey continues to reside in Denial Land, and says he could use a schvitz. He's all blasé: "Wanna go for a schvitz?" Tony says if after one day he doesn't get all his money, every Saturday he'll have to pay five percent interest, and if he doesn't have it it'll get tacked onto the principle. Davey gets all excusecakes on him and changes the subject to Meadow's college application progress; it's totally inappropriate, and sounds totally sketchy, like it's a threat or something. He's all deer in the headlights innocent as he says, "Tony, did I do something to insult you?" Tony gets all quiet and menacing, and tells him he has two days. Davey leaves, and the familiar gang sits down to see how they did. Silvio, Paulie, Christopher, and Tony toast the game and pat themselves on the back for running the executive game. Tony takes a stroll down memory lane and talks about how he and Silvio would peek in the keyhole and Junior would catch them and chase them down the street -- Junior was a prick even then. Hee.

Simple bass guitar riffs float through the Soprano Compound. Ew, they're singing again. Let me rephrase that. MEADOW is singing again. A shiver goes up my spine. Miss Saigon sucks, anyway. Tony is snoring away in bed at 3:20 PM, and the nasal croonings of Miss Meadow wake him. He pounds on her door. Meadow rolls her eyes back into her head and opens the door with many flouncy, stompy movements. "Do you mind, God!" Tony roars that he's trying to sleep, he was working all night. Tony appears very rumpled, stinky, and stubbly in his bathrobe. He pauses to make small talk with Eric, but Meadow puts on her best saucy face and asks him if he's awake now, and when he says yes, she says "Good, close the door." She's such the sassafrass. Tony attempts discipline by yelling "Hey!" but she just rolls her eyes, turns her back on him, and sulks. Tony asks where Carmela is, and Meadow injects as much exasperation and venom into the two words "the" and "store" as she possibly can. "Aunt Barbara called, Uncle Tom's father died," Meadow calls after him as he makes his way out of her evil teen lair. Tony is shocked and upset that Meadow doesn't know the details. "The guy's here almost every Christmas Eve, you don't ask? Somebody says Joe Blow died, normal people ask how, what happened? Jesus!" Meadow rolls her eyes back in her head again, but is impeded by the thick layer of bronze eyeshadow caked on them, so she just stares with her mouth open and turns her back on him again. Tony is disgusted and closes her door.

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