Sopranos
Sopranos

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Pamie: A+ | 947 USERS: B
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Richie! Richie! Richie!

We open with a couple ballroom dancing through Richie and Janice's empty house. Music plays and the couple dances. They spin off-camera as Janice and Tony enter the house carrying a couch. They put it down in the entryway as they discuss Janice's old job as a mover. Tony asks how many jobs Janice has had in her lifetime. "Enough to know I don't ever want another one," she replies. The couple dances by again as the male dancer tells Janice her floors have a terrific glide. She thanks him and tells him he looks great. His name is Rick. Tony and Jancie watch the couple dance off. Tony asks if Richie's son Rick is still "flying down to Rio." Janice brags that Rick is one of the top dancers in his field. A group of men calls Tony from the other room. They're all watching the game on a widescreen television, smoking cigars and drinking beer. Jackie Junior walks over and asks Tony if he wants to join them. Tony declines.

The music swells again, this time signaling trouble, as Tony walks back over to Janice. She asks him what's wrong. Tony says that Jackie wanted nothing more than his son to go to college and grow up to be a doctor, not hang around in empty living rooms with wise guys. He says that if Jackie knew his son dropped out of college, it would break his heart. Janice says that dropping out of college didn't hurt the Beatles or Bill Gates. She brags that Richie is taking A.J. to the dirt bike championships. Tony says that A.J. can't go because he got a C in Algebra. Janice asks if Carmela knows about this. Tony confesses that A.J. really can't go to the dirt bike championships because he doesn't want Richie around his kids. Janice asks what the fuck he's talking about. Tony tells Janice to ask Beansie. Janice says that Richie told her that the transmission slipped and the car just moved on its own, and Richie's lucky to be alive. She also adds that Beansie owed Richie lots of money over the past ten years. Janice asks why they're throwing her and Richie an engagement party if they're so awful. Tony says he wants to do right by his sister, and that this is really Carmela's party. Janice reminds Tony that he's still fucking a little Russian girl on the side, so he doesn't really have the right to judge people. Tony tells Janice to go ahead and be "a co-dependent to a fucking shitbag." He says he doesn't care, and leaves. Janice says that Tony can't stand to see her happy. Tony tells her to shove it up her ass as he slams the door. Janice stands in her entryway as the ballroom dancers twirl behind her.

Tony finishes fucking his Russian girl, Irina. She laughs as she rolls off of him. Tony catches his breath and lights a cigar. Irina stands in the bathroom doorway and coos that she loves her new pony boots. She's wearing only them and a negligée. She hops back in bed with him. She's wearing underwear, so I'm not exactly sure if we're supposed to believe she went and cleaned up, put on her panties, and posed in the doorway in all of fifteen seconds. In any event, Tony tells Irina that she should wear those boots to some of the interviews he keeps trying to get her to go to. She rubs the boots on his leg and tells him to feel how soft they are. They have to subtitle her because her accent is so thick. Tony keeps asking about the interviews, but Irina is ignoring him. Tony tells her that she can't spend the rest of her life behind a perfume counter, and that there's better money in modeling. Irina whines that he doesn't care what she does, and he tells her to stop with the "moody shit." Irina pouts and opens a book. He asks what she's reading. It's Chicken Soup For the Soul. Tony tells her to read Tomato Sauce For Your Ass, the Italian version. Irina doesn't feel like joking. She says a guy at work gave the book to her. She brags about him for a few minutes and asks if Tony's jealous. Tony asks if she's fucking him. Irina doesn't answer. Tony says that she should think about finding someone that can give her everything she wants. Someone that can give her a family, marriage, and children. Irina says she doesn't need someone, because she has him. "What, somebody to take you out to dinner and screw your fucking brains out?" Tony gets out of the bed, and Irina asks him not to go. He says she doesn't know what the fuck she wants. Irina asks him to not yell at her. She says it's a bad time because her new boss is so mean to her. Tony puts on his clothes and says he's done. Irina screams and pleads for him to not leave. Tony sits down and says it hasn't been good for a long time for either of them. Irina says she'll die without him, and if he leaves she'll kill herself. Tony tells her not to threaten him; this is over. He says she should talk to the guy about modeling and he'll take care of her until she's on her feet, but he's not doing this anymore. He leaves, and Irina throws a statue at the door, screaming, "I hate you," but without any real passion. She throws herself back down on the bed.

Sopranos

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