The Knight In White Satin Armor

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Richie! Richie! Richie!

Hospital. Svetlana is telling Tony that she was in the shower and almost didn't hear the phone. Irina was drunk and crying. She took twenty pills and downed them with a bottle of vodka. She says that it's not her fault. She says that Irina's had a hard life. Tony says that Svetlana's only got one leg and she's not complaining. Svetlana says that Irina's parents were alcoholics and bad people. They died young and Irina had to live with her uncle, who was a horrible man.

They enter Irina's hospital room. Irina says she doesn't care what happens to her anymore. Tony says she's got her entire life in front of her. Svetlana asks how Irina is going to pay all of these bills. Tony says he'll take care of it. Irina asks what kind of life she's supposed to have without him. She says she'll have to be a prostitute, and she doesn't want to. She starts crying, and Tony holds her. He tells her that everything is going to be okay.

Janice is trying on her wedding gown. She's very impressed with her own cleavage. Carmela is fixing Janice's train. Janice tells her that she's only doing this for the presents. She thinks for a bit and then reconsiders, saying she's really doing this for Richie. She says you have to do the ritual. Carm says this is such a happy time. "All the flowers. All the excitement." She says she remembers what it was like when she was getting married. "Then there's the honeymoon, and the hope chest!" Janice asks Carmela why she's "working overtime." She asks if Carm's depressed. Carmela says she's just being realistic. She tells Janice that she'll have to accept the fact that Richie's going to take a goomah soon. Janice says that Richie will be hard-pressed to find a whore that lets him hold a gun to her head while he fucks her. Carmela is shocked to find out that Janice does this. "I thought you were a feminist!" Carmela says through her great-gossip smile. Janice says that Richie usually takes the clip out. "Well, Jesus, I hope so," Carmela says. Janice says it's a ritual. Carm's smile is frozen on her face.

Lispy Skip goes to see his chief. It's the chief's birthday, and Tony Soprano has sent balloons and candy. He tells Skip that Tony never misses a holiday. He offers Skip something to eat before he sends it to the shelter. Skip says that Pussy just tried to give him a gift as well. The chief says he knows that they aren't supposed to accept the gifts, but he's got a weakness for some of this food. Skip says that Pussy's turned hardcore. One minute he's all about Tony, and the next he's trying to find ways to turn in evidence against him, acting like he's a junior G-man. "It's the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome I've seen since Patty Hearst," he says. The chief tells Skip not to get too involved with Pussy, and that these things can work two ways.

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