The Ride

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 3 USERS: A
The Ride
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Christopher sits on the couch in his apartment, watching Saw II and smoking. He's wearing his coat, so he's clearly preparing to go out somewhere. A woman wearing a denim miniskirt, pink belt, and lacy pink top walks into the room. Christopher turns off the TV, wonders what took her so long and snaps that they're going to miss the previews at the movies. She stands there, clearly wanting to say something to him and trying to build up the nerve. Christopher wonders whether she dropped her earring down the drain again. She gulps and blurts out, "I'm pregnant." Once she starts talking, she can't stop, babbling on that she blames herself, because she shouldn't have let him take off the rubber, but she thought the timing was okay. Christopher, his expression unreadable, holds up a hand and tells her to stop. She pauses, and then says she'll call the clinic tomorrow. Christopher again tells her to stop talking, and his expression softens a bit. He walks toward her. She looks nervous as he gets closer, like he might punch her or something. Which he might. Christopher reaches out and strokes her face. He says, "Let's get married. Drive to A.C., make a day out of it." The woman (who we've never seen before) starts crying, and asks whether he's serious, and then smiles and says that she loves him. They hug. Christopher rubs her stomach and says that his ex couldn't have kids, and he really wanted them. The woman asks him whether he's talking about the woman who ran out on him. He starts crying a little, and says, "You can bet she's having some other asshole's kid though, that fucking tramp." Where does he come up with this stuff? They hug, and it would be a lot easier to recap this scene if I knew the woman's name, but then again, I guess that's kind of the point. This isn't someone Christopher has been dating for a long time.

Patsy and Paulie walk into a church. Patsy pauses to genuflect at the altar, but Paulie just struts on by and walks up to a statue in the corner: "Elzear. Patron saint of zeppoles." That line would have been a lot funnier to me if I had know what in the hell zeppoles were before this episode. Hey, I'm white bread. My town carnival had beef on weck sandwiches and salt potatoes. Patsy and Paulie discuss how the statue needs some fixing up, and an old lady nearby shushes them.

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