Silvio reads How to Clean Practically Anything . What did Tony break now? Tony walks in, and Sil, Paulie, Carlo, and Walden greet him happily, since they haven't seen him since he got back from Vegas. Tony says it was a great trip, but then remembers he's supposed to be sad because of Christopher, so he quickly changes his demeanor. He notices a new picture hanging on the wall that features Christopher sitting in a director's chair. Tony brags about the girl he met and that they did peyote. Carlo jokes that Bobby did mushrooms once -- he ate a whole platter of stuffed mushrooms. The guys sit around the table and discuss their drug experiences. Tony can't find the words to describe how incredible his was. Bobby hands the cash from Stefano over to Tony, who asks if there's been any "movement" on that front. Sil says quietly that they should probably go see Phil. Paulie starts babbling about how he was dosed with acid once by a waitress, and he saw laser beams shooting out of Uncle Junior's eyes. HA! That's hilarious.
Kelli has dinner at the Sopranos' home. She talks about how lonely things are in her house, and Tony urges her to call him any time, day or night. Hmm. Night? Carmela changes the subject and says that Meadow had another mystery date. Who's she dating? Paulie? A woman? Why the mystery? AJ comes downstairs and refuses Carmela's offer of dinner by complaining that they spray beef with a virus. Whatever, Rachel Carson. Then don't eat beef, but why begrudge others their pleasure? Tony says he's never heard that, and AJ snarks that Tony wouldn't find it in the sports section. AJ goes on to rail against the meatpacking industry and capitalism in general. God, if I ever had a kid, I don't know what I would do when they reached the pinko commie stage of life. I find that more insufferable than a colicky baby. I think it lasts longer, too. Anyway, Tony points out that Kelli has been through a real tragedy, and AJ accuses them of burying their heads in the sand. Tony can't believe that AJ wouldn't crack a book for twenty years, and suddenly he's "the world's foremost authority." Why am I agreeing with Tony, the adulterous murderer? That steak pizzaiola Carmela made looks really good, beef virus spray or not. Carmela thinks it's good that AJ is reading and getting an education.