Melfi's office. Tony leads into the voice-over of AJ's birthday party by bitching that Carmela invited the priest: "He's always at the house." The Sopranos' backyard; Father Phil says hello to Tony, and Tony kind of blows him off while making himself a sandwich. AJ comes out and grouses that Livia just called; she's not coming, and she started crying on the phone and hung up. Tony says Livia needs "a purpose in life," and Carmela makes a snide remark about how Livia is tougher than Tony thinks, and then AJ pipes up, "So what, no fuckin' ziti now?" and both his parents go, "Hey!" I didn't cut the slimmest figure myself at his age, but if anyone needs fuckin' ziti, it isn't AJ.

Flames coming out of the barbecue. Tony smokes a cigar and beams at the ducks, who have taken over the pool. Opera plays. Duck montage. Tony, chuckling. The baby ducks finally nail the water take-off, take wing, and beat it out of there. Tony's eyes cross, and he clutches his chest and describes the sensation in voice-over as "like ginger ale in my skull." I've had panic attacks before, and -- yeah right, pass the Schweppes. The cigar falls out of Tony's mouth. The cameraman makes panic-attacky swooping motions. Tony drops the can of lighter fluid onto the grill and yard-sales onto the grass. Off-camera, we hear Meadow and AJ bleating and Carmela saying she's coming, and just as the rest of the Sopranos enter the frame, a tower of flame shoots up from the grill. Everyone's clustered around Tony. Carmela warns everyone away from the grill while Meadow says, "Dad! Dad! Dad!" like ten million times. Shut up, Meadow. Silvio comes out with the fire extinguisher, Carmela tells someone to call 911, Tony's out like a light.