The Sopranos

Episode Report Card
The Sopranos

Silvio, walking in a suspicious bow-legged way down the street past Vesuvio. Moments later, a neighboring store blows up and car alarms start going off.

Cut to Melfi's office and Tony saying he feels good; he doesn't know that he'll need to come back. Melfi asks if it's true that he's thinking more clearly and that his wife says he seems better; he nods happily. She bursts his bubble by saying that it's not because of the medication -- Prozac takes longer than that to build up in the blood and wouldn't have started to work yet. "What is it, then?" "Coming here, talking," she says. "Hope comes in many forms." "Who's got time for that?" he asks. She smiles a you've-fallen-into-my-trap smile and asks, "What is it you want to say to me?" Tony says he had a dream the night before, in which his bellybutton was a Phillips-head screw, and he unscrewed it and his penis fell off, so he picked up his penis and started running around looking for the guy who used to work on his Lincoln so the guy could put it back on, but a bird swooped down and grabbed the penis and flew off with it. Melfi wants to know what kind of bird. "I dunno -- seagull or something." "A water bird?" She's trying to get back to the ducks; he's not happy about that suggestion. He looks like he might cry. She asks what about the ducks meant so much to him. He says that "it was just a trip" having wild creatures come to his pool to have their babies; he's even closer to tears now, although he's smiling. She nods slightly; Tony says tearily that he "was sad to see 'em go." A pause. "Aw, Jesus, fuck, now he's gonna cry." Tony starts bawling and cursing himself for doing so. Melfi passes him a box of Kleenex and points out that the ducks "became a family." Tony says she's right, that's the link: he's afraid he's going to lose his family, like he lost the ducks, and that fear is always with him. "What are you so afraid's going to happen?" "I dunno." I don't think they mean the same "family," do you?

A greasy spatula presses sausages onto the grill. The boys all stand around smoking and drinking and exchanging knowing looks while Artie mourns the loss of his restaurant aloud ("Fucking faulty stove!"), and Tony tells Artie just to collect the insurance and move on, and Paulie tells Artie to remind himself that it "could have been worse." "How could it have been worse?" Artie wants to know, which prompts an outburst from Christopher: "Suppose people stopped coming to the restaurant, you ever think of that?" The boys stare at him. "I don't know, I don't know what the fuck," he snaps, and stalks off, probably back to left field from whence he came. Artie shoots Tony a "the hell?" look, and Tony says, "He's right, you know, there's no insurance for that." Artie keeps bemoaning the late Vesuvio. Tony tells him that hope helps, and that hope comes in many forms, and the boys all agree with him, but Artie starts weeping into a barbecue apron. Tony comforts him, telling him he'll always help him out.

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