The Sopranos

Episode Report Card
The Sopranos

Christopher, his hair slicked back so that he looks like Heckle (and/or Jeckle), sulks on the porch. Tony tells the others to let Artie cook to make him feel better, and he goes to see what's up with Christopher. He sits down beside Christopher and tells him that torching the restaurant was "the best solution," but Christopher continues to smolder; Tony snaps, "All right, enough of this shit -- what's wrong with you?" Christopher snarks that he'd have liked some acknowledgement for taking care of the Kolar thing. Tony says he's right: "I have no defense." He says his own father never complimented him, either. Christopher goes on to say that his cousin Gregory's girlfriend is a D-girl in Hollywood (we'll meet her, too, eventually), and she told him he could "sell [his] life story, make millions," but he didn't do that: "I stuck it out with you." Tony has heard enough; he leaps up and grabs Christopher by the shirtfront and bitches him out. Christopher doesn't back down: "She said I could maybe even play myself." Tony has to laugh at this; he lets go of Christopher's shirt and basically tells him to forget that crap and focus, and he straightens Christopher's collar. They go back to the party.

Livia, in a car. She thanks Junior for picking her up: "At least somebody cares about me." "These kids today," Junior agrees bitterly. Livia says that Tony thinks that once he's got her "locked up in a nursing home," she'll die faster, and then he won't have to drive her anywhere. Junior nods sanctimoniously. On and on and ON they go in this vein -- Tony's father was a saint, Tony would show more respect for Livia if his father were alive, Tony's interfering in Junior's business and pissing off New York, the new generation has no respect for the older ones, long hair, "fags in the military," blah blah blah blah BLAH -- long story short, they both hate Tony right now. Junior says that others have complained about Tony's leadership and asked him to step in. He adds, "Something may have to be done, Livia, about Tony. I dunno." Livia just stares out the window and stews in her own juices.

When they arrive, Livia immediately makes a disparaging remark about Tony's decision to cook with mesquite. Tony tells Carmela in a tone of fake cheer that his mother's here, so Carmela yells, "Let's eat," and the party drifts inside. We hear Ugly Friend telling Meadow that "I'm not gonna eat, are you?" and the camera pans around to show the quiet pool as a folk singer croons, "God help/The beast in me."

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