Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | 624 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
No Woman, No Cry

Rehab. Christopher, Adriana, and Patsy pull up in front of a swank-looking clinic called "Eleuthera House." Conspiracy theorists should take note that it's not the same one the FBI recommended. They head inside, and Christopher announces that he's checking in. The receptionist pages someone to come get him, and also reminds them that no phone calls are allowed for the first two weeks. "I'll write," says Christopher. "I was thinking of keeping a journal anyway, maybe get it published under my pen name." Conspiracy theorists should take note that his pen name could be "Aaron." I'm just saying. Some guy finally comes out to meet them, and while I've never heard the actor's name before, I'm almost positive he appeared on Six Feet Under at some point. Then again, I thought Dean Martin was Roy Rogers, so what the hell do I know? Six Feet Under Guy introduces himself as Brad, and proceeds to search Christopher's bag for contraband. He removes a pile of candy bars because caffeine and chocolate aren't allowed, but also says that cigarettes are actually encouraged. Well, in that case: flick…ahhhhhh. Chris and Adriana share a tearful hug, and then he disappears into the rear of the clinic.

Back at Junior's, Tony and Svetlana are basking in the afterglow. He tries to brush her off with the usual "I'll call you in a few days," but Svetlana pre-empts him by saying they shouldn't get together again. "Tony, come on," she says, "You're a nice guy, but I got my own problems. I don't want all the time to prop you up." Damn. She's just dissing Sopranos left and right these days. Tony can't believe what he's hearing, but just then the other nurse lady arrives and interrupts their little argument. Tony walks out, looking pissed.

Sopranos

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