Cut to Meadow and Jackie Jr. in the car, looking like they're about ready to go to bed too, but with an entirely different purpose in mind. Meadow hands over a paper on Edgar Allan Poe she wrote for him, and that's as close as we're gonna come to actually hearing this week's title out loud. Although I guess Imperioli isn't really a regular member of the writing staff, so maybe it's okay. "I never should have taken Literature of Obsession," sighs Jackie Jr., and the same could easily be said for the entire writing staff of The Sopranos, regular or not. "I owe you big time," he says, and then offers up the second-oldest (but first-smarmiest) line in the book: "How can I repay you?" Meadow's got a few ideas, though, and they're pretty similar to the ones I espoused last week. She hands him a condom, and as he moves in for the mack, we get a voice-over: "On your mark, get set, go!" I suppose we should just be grateful they didn't have "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" playing on the radio.
We follow the audio to the Verbum Dei swimming pool, where AJ, Egon, Venkman, and Ray are racing in the swimming pool. A couple of girls watch from the stands. They're smoking cigarettes, but giggling and carrying on like they might be joints. Or giants, for that matter. Anyway, I suppose not even HBO wants child actors smoking actual pot on the set. Also, who breaks in to the high-school gym to go swimming? Wasn't that like the most hated class ever? The boys climb out of the water, and say what you want about Jamie Lynn Sigler, but Robert Iler has definitely slimmed down this season. Or maybe he's just getting really good at sucking in his gut. Either way, I somehow doubt it'll stop the clamoring for Jason Cerbone. Anyway, Egon and his crew start busting the place up, tossing papers and equipment into the pool and chasing Slimer all over the place. Finally Egon apparently gets a few of his mental streams crossed, because he picks up a stool and smashes a huge trophy case. Egon, by the way, so wants to be Jason Biggs from American Pie, but he's not quite pulling it off. They do, however, manage some fantastic lighting in this scene.
Sunday morning at Das Sopranohaus, with NPR's "Car Talk" playing on the radio in the kitchen. Meadow comes down, bedecked in an altogether unflattering headband, and immediately asks after Jackie Jr. "Vince 'Fuckpants' Lombardi is out back with your brother," Tony reports, and indeed he is, giving the young lad some football instruction. You know, I never caught the "Homoeroticism, Yay" vibe off those two that some others have claimed to see, but I guess I can understand where it comes from. Anyway, Meadow watches her boys play ball, and then sits down and asks Tony straight-up for a car, so she can "come have dinner with you guys once in a while." Once in a while? Well, I guess that answers yet another age-old question. "A while" apparently equals about thirty seconds or so. By the way, get it? "Car Talk"? When Tony mentions that she could have had a car last year, she snots that it was Eric Scatino's, and that it was "some kind of sick joke." She's right, but the attitude isn't really helping her sell the point. She also mentions that Davey Scatino is now in a "mental-health care facility in Nevada," as opposed to fighting aliens and malevolent hairdressers the way we all know he really is. I kinda miss Davey, you know? Hey Jessica, do me a favor and say hi for me, okay? Carmela is concerned that Meadow isn't taking advantage of everything the city has to offer, but rather than explain that she's already filled her bums-with-newspaper-up-the-butt quota for the year, Meadow just tunes the parents out and focuses in on Little Lord Fuckpants, who's still cavorting with AJ in the backyard. He's giving the kid tips on rushing the passer, most of which involve staring deep into the guy's soulful brown eyes. Damn you people for ruining this episode for me. Can the Paulie/Silvio slash-fic (tm Sars, if she'll admit to it) really be that far behind? Sorry. That was way over the line.