Cut to AJ being berated by Carmela. It's pretty much every conversation I've ever had with my own parents. "Yes, I knew it was wrong. No, I don't know why I did it. Yes, I'm sorry. No, I wouldn't jump off a bridge if all my friends did." You get the idea. I remember the time I broke a glass door, and Mom debited my allowance while the blood was still gushing down my arm. Tony "Robot Dog" Soprano wanders over in his robe and bedhead (StR = 885, a pretty respectable score), and asks the obvious question: "How do you vandalize a swimming pool?" He smacks AJ for screwing around on his mother's birthday, and AJ adopts a Johnny Cochran-style defense by saying that it was after midnight, which apparently makes it okay to let it all hang out. Tony smacks him again, saying that he's going to miss the big game and ruin his football career, and AJ just looks despondent as he reports that Headmaster Weasel will be calling them to his office.
Vesuvio. Artie brings a plate to Rosalie and Carmela, but Rosalie isn't really interested in "mozzarella and string beans." Artie explains that it's actually not mozzarella, but rather a special cheese with an "almost nut-like" flavor called "buratta" that he had flown in special from Italy. Then again, with the food pronunciations on this show, "buratta" could actually just be something he picked up at the Taco Bell next door. Anyway, Rosalie doesn't seem to like it, as she professes to be "not that big on nuts." Obviously, she doesn't spend a lot of time with her family, because it doesn't get any nuttier than Big Joey Pants and Little Lord Fuckpants. Incidentally, I wonder when they'll officially change the last name? Anyway, Artie does a Benihana flip with the pepper mill and departs, leaving Rosalie to make a toast to "the blossoming friendship between our two children." She goes on to describe Meadow as "a wonderful girl," and I guess she doesn't spend much time with Carmela's family either. They talk about Artie and Charmaine's impending divorce, and Rosalie marvels that even though the men in their lives have been "you know what," they've managed to stay together, while regular guys like Artie can't hold on to their marriages. "You can only push a man so far," declares Carmela, and then you can see her start to wonder if perhaps she herself has pushed Tony past that point.