The Telltale Moozadell

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
The softer side of snakes

Michael Imperioli: I finally managed to shoehorn in a scene for myself and you shoot the whole thing from the back of my neck? What's up with that?
David Chase: Oy. Is this gonna be a chat or a sit-down? Because I don't have time for a sit-down.
Michael Imperioli: Are you trying to tell me I'm not as attractive as Cerbone? Is that it?
David Chase: Dude, have you seen his traps?
Michael Imperioli: All right, fine. But would it have killed you to at least show my ear or something? I'm writing my ass off over here.

Sometime later on, Jackie Jr. drives up to a street corner, and Matush hops into the car. Jackie assures him that "it's all taken care of," except that Matush has to move the action outside to "an alley or something." Jackie feeds him a line of bull about his importance in the grand mafia plan, and Matush reluctantly agrees to go along. When he tries to climb out of the car, however, Jackie Jr. demands that since he's looking out for the Russian "[he's] gotta eat, too." Matush promises to pay Jackie off every Sunday, and Jackie's entrée into the extortion racket is complete.

Das Sopranohaus. Carmela and Tony are laying down the law with AJ. There'll be no Nintendo, no DVDs, no skateboard, and no computer for the foreseeable future. AJ protests the computer part, claiming he uses it for schoolwork. "Then use the typewriter from the basement," replies Carmela, but AJ reminds her that Tony threw it out. I guess the script didn't come out as well as he'd hoped. Or maybe Kate Moss just ran out of grapes. Although it's not likely she ate them herself, or anything. Anyway, Tony also insists that AJ will have to "work [his] little ass off" around the house, starting immediately by cleaning out the garage. "Jackie Jr. did that the other day," reports Carmela, and obviously when Tony said Jackie showed respect around the house, he wasn't kidding. Except that's more like butt-kissing than respect, but who's counting? Tony reshuffles the chore assignments, and instructs AJ to clean out the gutters. "What's a gutter?" asks AJ, and as always with him, I'm forced to say that while no one is that stupid, it gets a heh anyway. "Don't get smart with me," growls Tony, who has apparently failed to notice that AJ is in fact doing precisely the opposite. They go back and forth with the gutter talk for a few minutes (then again, on this show it's pretty much all gutter talk), and then Tony finally leads AJ outside to show him exactly what a gutter really is.

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