Casa di Soprano. I guess this is Carmela's official birthday party, even though she got all the presents two scenes ago. All the usual suspects are present, including Janice and a surprisingly wide-awake Aaron. I guess it'd be even more surprising if you knew what time it is as I'm typing this. Let's just say my own personal StR is a fairly large negative number by this point. Meadow runs to answer the doorbell, returning with her Little Lord in tow. Introductions are dispensed with, and Aaron the Narcoleptic Doppelganger adds fuel to the shout-out fire by sticking with his repetitive catchphrase conceit. "Have you heard the news?" he asks, prompting Jackie Jr. to remind him that they met in last week's apostolic encounter. Jackie presents Carmela with his gift, and as everyone sings a slightly more traditional version of Happy Birthday, Tony again turns to kiss Carmela. David Chase so reads our forums. And then writes, shoots, and edits entire episodes in a five-day span, just to address our complaints and concerns. Ten bucks says Jackie Jr. is topless next week.
Later, the party moves into the living room. Jackie Jr. and Anthony Jr. discuss football, and also why Jackie Jr. doesn't like to refer to himself as JJ. Okay, just kidding on that last one. Across the room, Aaron explains that "the Good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol." Huh? What am I, the only Aaron to ever read the Bible? Tony, who himself demonstrates an impressive amount of theological logic this week, responds to this statement by pointing out that Jesus drank wine all the time. Janice walks over to defend her somnolent soulmate, claiming that "He was Jesus, Tony. You can't make comparisons." ["For the record, I have no idea what the hell they're talking about." -- God] ["Me either. You'd think any kid of mine would know how to party." -- Madonna] ["Look, if You holy types are going to do the asides, at least pick a different font." -- Sars] Tony gives Janice the stink-eye, and then rapidly follows it up with the wipe-nose as he points out a smear of cocaine on her nostril. So let me get this straight. Alcohol is bad, but drugs are okay? I guess religion really is the opiate of the masses. Across the room, AJ gets a page, and asks for and receives permission to spend the night at Egon's house. Egon? Is that a Ghostbusters reference? Is there some sort of nominal link between Bathsheba and Egon that my extensive research (consisting of a Google search and, well, another Google search) has failed to turn up?
Cut to the Lollipop, with Christopher's Range Rover parked in front. He leads a blindfolded Adriana up to the club, smiling all the way. Adriana, however, is a bit nervous, reporting first that she smells fish (but not, sadly, fishcakes) and later that she smells piss. Despite the aromatic bouquet, she's relieved and also confused when Christopher lifts the blindfold. He then tells her that the club is hers to do with as she pleases, with only him and Furio as silent partners. Adriana is ecstatic, and Chris pledges that she'll "turn this place into the biggest Jersey club since the Stone Pony," which couldn't have been that big, because I've never heard of it. Because I go clubbing in Hoboken so frequently. ["It's in Asbury Park. If you'd grown up in Jersey, you'd have heard of it. 'Out Q, your club and concert calendar!'" -- Sars] Adriana smacks her gum and asks if she can change the name. I actually kinda hope she doesn't, because The Pirate Principle makes me think of the Good Ship Lollipop, which is the boat that takes you to Pirate games here in Pittsburgh. For reasons that should be evident if you've ever worked up the necessary stalker-quotient to check out my bio on this site, I'm hesitant to product-place the name of the new stadium, but it is pretty nice. Anyway, Furio brings in Whiny Winkelson, whom Chris introduces to Adriana by saying that "he works for [her]."